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GergtРазные 2015-03-05

- Если вы не прекратите шуметь, я буду вынужден пригласить констебля!
- Когобля? allanecdots.ru
- Ментабля.

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GergtРазные 2015-03-05

- Как вы с женой проводите выходные?
- По принципу "пассатижи". allanecdots.ru
- Это как?
- Перекусим и дальше себе лежим.

- Это как?
- Перекусим и дальше себе лежим." data-url="https://allanecdots.ru/41168/" data-title="Разные" data-image="https://allanecdots.ru/smajlik.jpg" data-services="whatsapp,vkontakte,collections,facebook,odnoklassniki,moimir,gplus,twitter,lj,viber,telegram" data-limit="3">

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GergtРазные 2015-03-05

Всем мужикам с наличием чувства юмора.
Подойдите к какой-нибудь девушке и скажите: allanecdots.ru
- Девушка, у вас самое красивое место испачкалось!
А потом наблюдайте куда она будет смотреть!

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GergtРазные 2015-03-05

- Скажите, какой камень вас оберегает?
- Какой схватил, такой и оберегает! allanecdots.ru

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GergtРазные 2015-03-05

Осенним призывом закончилась оживлённая беседа студента с профессором по поводу места на автостоянке около университета.

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Vaserman_Druz`Разные 2015-03-05

- Наконец-то ученым удалось скрестить бурого и белого медведей.
- Ну и как? allanecdots.ru
- Звери остались довольны!

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Vaserman_Druz`Разные 2015-03-05

Стройка. Бетонная плита срывается со стропил крана, бьёт по перекрытию, сносит несущую балку, после чего два этажа здания обрушиваются. Прораб смотрит на это дело и говорит:
- Классный тетрис! allanecdots.ru

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Vaserman_Druz`Разные 2015-03-05

- О чем это больше часа говорил в цехе наш начальник?
- Об экономии рабочего времени. allanecdots.ru

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Vaserman_Druz`Разные 2015-03-05

- Девушка, если бы я был поэтом, я посвятил бы вам стихи! Если бы я был художником, я написал бы ваш портрет. Но я всего лишь сторож на мебельной фабрике, поэтому могу предложить вам только кровать!

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Vaserman_Druz`Разные 2015-03-05

Молодой муж обращается к своей новоиспеченной супруге:
- Почему борщ без мяса? allanecdots.ru
- Не знаю. Я варила точно по кулинарной книге, которая осталась от твоей бабушки.
- И что там написано?
- "Возьмите мяса на 10 копеек..."

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Vaserman_Druz`Разные 2015-03-05

- Слушай, а как тебе удалось откосить от армии?
- Повезло. Послали меня к психиатру. Тот долго меня выспрашивал, а потом в графе "Психические отклонения" написал: "Любит смотреть "Аншлаг" и Петросяна". allanecdots.ru

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