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2021-07-27Приходит чукча в магазин.
- У вас есть цветные телевизоры? allanecdots.ru
- Да, пожалуйста.
- Заверните зеленый
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Старшина обходит строй новобранцев.
- Так, у тебя кaкое образование? allanecdots.ru
- Восемь классов
- Хорошо! У тебя?
- МГУ!
- Чего мычишь, писать то хоть умеешь?
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Старый аналитик молодому:
- Если не знаешь, что говорить, говори, что существующая тенденция сохранится. allanecdots.ru
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Жена вернулась из гостей и рассказывает мужу:
- Вечер прошел прекрасно. Ивановы попросили меня спеть, и я согласилась. allanecdots.ru
Муж:
- И правильно сделала. Не люблю я этих Ивановых.
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- Дорогая, я решил, что больше никогда не буду с тобой ругаться!
- Нет, вы посмотрите на него, он решил! А у меня ты спросил? allanecdots.ru
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Жена мужу:
- Мне столько денег надо! На эпиляцию, на маникюр, на педикюр, на мелирование, на косметику. allanecdots.ru
Муж:
- А мне повезло! Я сразу красивый родился.
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Vaserman_Druz_Редакция журнала "Форбс" пригласила ГИБДД поучаствовать в составлении списка самых богатых людей планеты.
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Как только мы научимся преодолевать расстояния в несколько миллионов световых лет, нужно будет найти планету населенную жизнью, нарисовать им узоры на пшеничных полях и улететь. Просто так заведено.
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Полиция отпустила мою тещу после допроса по подозрению в убийстве ее мужа. После трёх минут общения с ней они поняли, что бедный мужик совершил самоубийство.
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- А есть польза от игры в карты?
- Безусловно. Если бы подполковник ГИБДД играл в карты, то знал бы, что 22 - это перебор. allanecdots.ru
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