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Gergt
2015-07-30
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Утро. 8 марта. Муж - жене:
- Дорогая, чего бы ты хотела на 8 марта? allanecdots.ru
Жена:
- Ну, дорогой, я бы хотела что-то для моих тоненьких пальчиков, для моей длинной шеи, и для моих розовых ушек.
Муж думает:
- Ага! МЫЛО!
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Первая бабушка:
- Я от воров включаю радио. allanecdots.ru
Вторая бабушка:
- А я на второй деревянной двери оставляю записку: "Юрий, все змеи расползлись. Собери их, я не успела."
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- Мне очень понравился ужин у вас, но, пожалуй, засиделся, пора и уходить.
Только не беспокойтесь - не провожайте меня. allanecdots.ru
- Ну что вы, какое же это беспокойство?! Это удовольствие.
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Муж жене...
- Понимаешь, дорогая, я сейчас зарабатываю прилично и могу вполне содержать ещё одну женщину... что ты на это скажешь? allanecdots.ru
- Прекрасно! Я звоню своей маме, пусть поживёт с нами...
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После вчерашнего... друг - другу:
- Зря я спорил вчера с женой на желание. allanecdots.ru
- У тебя есть жена?!
- Теперь уже есть...
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Молодая замужняя девка развлекается с десантником. Неожиданно приходит муж. Десантник успевает спрятаться на балконе. Проходит несколько часов. Наконец набравшись смелости, десантник открывает дверь:
- Прошу прощения! Идут стратегические войсковые учения. Я выпрыгнул из самолета, и меня ветром занесло на ваш балкон. allanecdots.ru
Хозяйка начинает деланно возмущаться, но муж ее успокаивает:
- Это еще ничего... вчера у Сидорова в туалете геологи нефть искали!
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- Так, ребята, у нашей Машки Селезневой прибавление в семействе. Все сдаем по 100 руб. и анализ на ДНК!
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- Пап, а Земля она какая?
- Земля, сынок, шарообразная. allanecdots.ru
Мама, обижено:
- Мог бы в качестве примера показать на мяч, а не на меня.
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Ржевский едет в поезде. Он в купе на веpхней полке, внизу беседуют две дамы:
- Вы знаете, а ведь яйца от сеpебpа чеpнеют! allanecdots.ru
- Да что вы!
- Пpавда! Я вот позавчеpа положила с яйцами сеpебpяную ложечку и - что вы думаете? - почеpнели!
"Век живи - век учись" - подумал Ржевский, пеpекладывая сеpебpяный поpтсигаp из каpмана бpюк в нагpудный...
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Он сказал, что на балу я была самая лучшая зая!
Так и сказал "Зая бала"! allanecdots.ru
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