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2012-02-07Слушается дело об изнасилованиях. Обвиняемый - 85-летний старичок.
- Подсудимый, 12 мая сего года в 20 часов вы в Медведково изнасиловали студентку Иванову, в 21 час в Измайловском парке вы изнасиловали продавщицу Петрову, а в 22 часа у Ярославского вокзала вы изнасиловали учащуюся ПТУ Сидорову. Объясните суду, как вам это удалось, как это вообще возможно? allanecdots.ru
- Да чё там невозможного, у меня же мотоцикл...
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Реклама:
- К столу, любимые, вас ждет чудо! allanecdots.ru
- Ой, что это за фигню ты приготовила?
- Так! Заткнулись и жрём!
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- Тань, ну когда ты перестанешь быть такой ревнивой?!
- Ты опять меня Таней назвал!? allanecdots.ru
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- Это ты вчера на ночь ужастики смотрел?
- Да, а что? allanecdots.ru
- Что, что - иди убери за собой!!!
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Муж:
- Дорогая, скажи, только честно, ты мне изменяешь когда я в командировке? allanecdots.ru
- Дорогой, если честно, я даже и не знаю. Когда ты уезжаешь, я становлюсь совсем дикая, кидаюсь на стены, потом падаю со стены на пол, бьюсь головой об пол... Может в это время кто и пользуется...
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Батюшка спрашивает у прихожанина:
- Молишься ли перед едой, сын мой? allanecdots.ru
- Нет батюшка. У меня жена хорошо готовит...
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Рецепт борща по-мужски:
Берешь 75 кг женщины и ставишь у плиты до полной готовности борща. allanecdots.ru
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Блохи медленно ползли по телу Левши, обреченно волоча за собой тяжеленные подковы...
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Мужик сходил на охоту и рассказывает
- Приспичило меня какать. Сел, какаю. Сзади медведь подкрался и жрет то, что я какаю... allanecdots.ru
- Ну? Ты его убил или убежал?
- Нее, я гадил пока он не наелся!
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Молодых девушек в подъезде не было, и бабушкам на лавочке приходилось называть проституткой дворника Митрича
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