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Просто смешные анекдоты
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2019-05-21- Итак, сегодня мы возьмем интервью у человека, который все успевает.
- Скажите, как вы все успеваете? allanecdots.ru
- Идите в жопу, мне некогда.
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- А можно я вам тогда позже перезвоню?
- Можно. Только по другому номеру. allanecdots.ru
- По какому?
- По любому другому номеру!
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- Ваш пионер застрял головой в заборе,
Ваши действия? allanecdots.ru
- Поржать!
- А потом?
- Позову других вожатых, пусть тоже поржут!
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Что бы там не говорили, портативная колонка - вещь очень полезная.
О приближении дебила теперь узнаешь издалека. allanecdots.ru
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Стоит у зеркала старый мужик. Ноги у него тонкие, кривые, волосатые. Животик впалый. Ручки худенькие, глазки маленькие, нос крючком, сам лысенький. Смотрит он на свое отражение в зеркале, а сзади него на кровати лежит молодая красивая жена.
Мужик оборачивается и говорит ей с укоризной: allanecdots.ru
- Это же надо так любить деньги!
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Два друга:
- У тебя какие на сегодня планы? allanecdots.ru
- Мы с сыном змея запускаем.
- У меня похожая программа - тещу на самолет провожаю...
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Метро, час пик. В толпе орет мужик:
- Помогите! Мой сын нечаянно подавился пятаком! Он умирает! allanecdots.ru
Сквозь толпу протискивается толстая тетка, хватает пацана за яйца и страшно их сжимает! У бедного парня из глотки вылетает пять рублей и вопль "А-а-а-а!!!"
Отец с уважением:
- Ух ты! Вы, наверное, в скорой помощи работаете?..
- Нет. В налоговой.
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Отец с уважением: - Ух ты! Вы, наверное, в скорой помощи работаете?.. - Нет. В налоговой." data-url="https://allanecdots.ru/85207/" data-title="Разные" data-image="https://allanecdots.ru/smajlik.jpg" data-services="whatsapp,vkontakte,collections,facebook,odnoklassniki,moimir,gplus,twitter,lj,viber,telegram" data-limit="3"> |
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- У меня сын в полицию пошел работать.
- Ну и хорошо, будет у тебя знакомый полицейский! allanecdots.ru
- Ага, был сын, а теперь будет знакомый полицейский...
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- Хочется быстрей разбогатеть и всем говорить, что деньги не главное.
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- Мне посоветовали книгу о том, как бороться с бессонницей. Читал ее до утра...
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- Женя, ты говоришь, что мне придется спать с тобой, но я не могу так сразу...
- Петрович, ты достал! У нас одна палатка на двоих! allanecdots.ru
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