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Gergt
2014-09-18Есть такая поговорка «Когда я ем - я глух и нем». Я понимаю, что нем, потому что ешь, но это как надо жрать, чтоб уши закладывало!
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Человек со свежим "фонарем" под глазом устало бредет по улице.
- Вы плохо выглядите, обращается к нему сердобольный прохожий. Давайте-ка я отведу вас домой. allanecdots.ru
- Ни в коем случае! Я еле убежал оттуда.
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- Вы плохо выглядите, обращается к нему сердобольный прохожий. Давайте-ка я отведу вас домой. - Ни в коем случае! Я еле убежал оттуда. " data-url="https://allanecdots.ru/33650/" data-title="Разные" data-image="https://allanecdots.ru/smajlik.jpg" data-services="whatsapp,vkontakte,collections,facebook,odnoklassniki,moimir,gplus,twitter,lj,viber,telegram" data-limit="3"> |
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Идет судебный процесс. У свидетеля спрашивают:
- Скажите, это правда, что подсудимый живет с этой женщиной как муж с женой? allanecdots.ru
- Нет, ваша честь, намного лучше.
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Отзыв к сабвуферу: "К сожалению, после того как я женился, данный девайс используется только в качестве тумбочки".
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Собираюсь на девичник, причесалась, накрасилась, оделась. Спрашиваю мужа:
- Ну, как я выгляжу? allanecdots.ru
- Ты выглядишь так, что сейчас дома останешься!
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Зимы у нас холодные, поэтому девчонки надевают по две пары стрингов.
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Никак не получается потратить деньги с умом: то ума не хватает, то денег.
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- Вот скажи, если бы я ехал на девятке, а не на мерседесе и предложил тебя подвести, ты бы села ко мне в машину?
- А если бы я стояла в фуфайке, а не в норковой шубе, ты бы остановился? allanecdots.ru
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- Как по-украински сказать:"Извините, я не расслышал последнюю фразу, которую вы сказали, не могли бы вы ее повторить, пожалуйста"?
- ШО? allanecdots.ru
| - ШО?" data-url="https://allanecdots.ru/33625/" data-title="Разные" data-image="https://allanecdots.ru/smajlik.jpg" data-services="whatsapp,vkontakte,collections,facebook,odnoklassniki,moimir,gplus,twitter,lj,viber,telegram" data-limit="3"> | Комментировать |
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Крановщик с пятнадцатилетним стажем за 5 минут обчистил автомат с игрушками!
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- Это правда, что Шлему посадили?
- Да. allanecdots.ru
- Вот лгун! Он мне писал, что поехал к брату на два года.
- Он не солгал: брата посадили еще раньше.
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