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Gergt
2015-01-28- Изя, вы любите ceкc втроем?
- Да, а шо? allanecdots.ru
- Так бегите скорее домой, может, еще успеете!
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- Адвокат сказал, что наше дело не стоит и выеденного яйца!
- И сколько же он запросил? allanecdots.ru
- 5000баксов.
- Он что, питается яйцами Фаберже?
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- Где вы работаете?
- Это государственная тайна! allanecdots.ru
- А что производите?
- Я же сказал, разглашению не подлежит!
- А много платят?
- Да гроши – пять рублей за гранату.
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Вчера была у него дома. Над кроватью весит каяк, все стенки обвешаны ружьями для подводной охоты. И что меня напрягает больше всего, он меня постоянно называет "рыбкой"
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- Пап, а трудно делать блины?
- Совсем нет: берешь муку, яйца... allanecdots.ru
- Сделай, пожалуйста, раз тебе не трудно.
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Гаишник блондинке:
- Вы почему не остановились? allanecdots.ru
- Я испугалась, жезл был слишком длинный.
- Это не жезл, это шлагбаум.
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- Девушка, а девушка, купите мне мороженое!
– Альфонс, что ли? allanecdots.ru
– Нет, пломбир
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Приезжает как-то женщина на Север друга проведать. И зайдя в дом, девушка замечает, что у него под столом огромное количество хомяков.
- Откуда у тебя под столом хомяки? Мы же на Севере. allanecdots.ru
- Это не хомяки, это тараканы в шубах.
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- Что вы скажете о предстоящем сражении, генерал?
- Оно наверняка будет проиграно. allanecdots.ru
- Зачем же его начинать?
- Чтобы выяснить, кем именно.
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На границе:
- Товарищ прапорщик, а бывают умные собаки? allanecdots.ru
- Бывают, рядовой. Иногда даже умнее хозяев. У меня была такая...
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Жена пришла к мужу в тюрьму на свидание. Через 5 минут говорит:
- Мне пора, милый, я все время думаю, как тяжело нашей собачке целый день сидеть одной взаперти. allanecdots.ru
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