Просто смешные анекдоты

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Vaserman_Druz`Разные 2015-03-14

Голодный муж возвращается домой с работы. Заходит. Жены нету, на столе записка: "Вернусь поздно. Не жди. Суп на столе. Вытри, пожалуйста!"

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Vaserman_Druz`Разные 2015-03-14

- Здравствуйте, я недавно устроилась на работу в бухгалтерию и не знаю, как пользоваться компьютером. Подскажите, пожалуйста, что мне делать?
- Главное - не волнуйтесь! Возьмите лист бумаги и ручку. Теперь пишите: "Заявление", с красной строки: "Прошу уволить меня по собственному желанию"... allanecdots.ru

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GergtРазные 2015-03-13

Пошла в магазин, телефон забыла дома. Гуляла часа два. Прихожу домой, возле подъезда стоит Скорая Помощь, Пожарная, Полиция, а МЧС собирается взламывать мою дверь. ЭТО КО МНЕ МАМА НЕ ДОЗВОНИЛАСЬ

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GergtРазные 2015-03-13

Жена пришла под утро. Муж орет: - Ты где была? Я всю ночь глаз не сомкнул…
Жена устало: - А ты думаешь я спала… allanecdots.ru

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GergtРазные 2015-03-13

Совет женщинам: Выглядеть нужно всегда так, что бы мужчины думали: «Ммм, какая!», а женщины: «Вот сучка!»

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Vaserman_Druz`Разные 2015-03-13

В городе Владимир прошел конкурс красоты, но само название "мисс Владимир" распугало всех участниц.

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Vaserman_Druz`Разные 2015-03-13

Корпоративная вечеринка может считаться удавшейся, если утром каждого входящего в офис сотрудника встречают громким хохотом.

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Vaserman_Druz`Разные 2015-03-13

- Почему ты до сих пор не побрился! Мы же идем в театр!
- Я брился. allanecdots.ru
- Когда?!
- Когда ты начала одеваться.

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Vaserman_Druz`Разные 2015-03-13

А вы знаете, почему все люди, спасенные дельфинами, как один рассказывают, что дельфины толкали их к берегу? Потому что все те, кого дельфины толкали от берега, утонули!

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Vaserman_Druz`Разные 2015-03-13

- Представляешь, в офисе так трудно работать!
- Почему? allanecdots.ru
- Во-первых, шумно, трудно сосредоточиться. Во-вторых, всё время отвлекают - просят не храпеть...

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Vaserman_Druz`Разные 2015-03-13

Разговор двух туристов:
- Петрович, а ты чего дрова сидя колешь? allanecdots.ru
- Да уже пробовал лёжа, не получилось.

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