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2011-06-02– Дорогой, что тебе больше нравится – мое очаровательное лицо или моя прекрасная фигура?
– Твое чувство юмора. allanecdots.ru
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Целлюлит это когда человек долго пытается думать жопой - на ней появляются извилины!
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- Дорогая, давай пошалим?
- Нет, чего-то голова болит. allanecdots.ru
- Хорошо, отдыхай, любимая. Пойду тогда кредит возьму.
- Нет, милый, давай лучше займемся сексом.
(Голос за кадром: "Наши кредиты избавят от головной боли. Житейские
истории, банк Империал.)
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Звонок на радио:
- Алло,здравствуйте,я хотела бы поздравить своего папу с днём рождения и пожелать ему счастья от всего сердца до члена! allanecdots.ru
- До куда?!?!
- Дочь Лена,а не докуда!
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- Я вчера на вечеринке познакомился с девушкой и мы как-то сразу перешли на "ты".
- Что, прямо сразу? allanecdots.ru
- Да. Она сразу мне сказала: "Да пошел ты!.."
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Приходит мужик домой. А его подружка и говорит:
- Все. Ухожу от тебя. allanecdots.ru
Мужик:
- Почему?
- Я узнала, что ты ПЕДОФИЛ.
- Эй, не слишком ли умное слово для десятилетней девочки?
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- Что такое продукты горения?
- Это то, что получается в результате горения. allanecdots.ru
- Тогда что же такое продукты питания?..
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- Тебя как зовут?
- Как Серёгу. allanecdots.ru
- Как какого Серёгу?
- Как любого Серёгу.
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