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Vaserman_Druz_
2018-01-25- Вот мой муж, никогда на меня не кричит. А еще, он никогда не матерится и не грубит никому. И за компом не сидит вообще. А еще, он мне не изменяет и не ходит по пивнушкам всяким! Правда он лапочка?
- Эмммм... Потыкай в него палкой. Он, походу, сдох... allanecdots.ru
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В аэропорту "Внуково" был задержан контрабандист N, который опроверг русскую народную поговорку "Откуда в жопе алмазы?!"
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У долгожителей линия жизни на ладони заканчивается подмышкой.
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Как–то раз ученики сидели с удочками на берегу реки и ловили рыбу.
Подошёл Учитель и поинтересовался у них: allanecdots.ru
- Не клюёт?
- Не клюёт, - со вздохом ответили ученики.
- И не будет, - сказал мудрый Учитель. - У рыб нет клюва.
Потрясенные такой мудростью Учителя ученики притащили сеть.
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- А это у Вас салфетки или туалетная бумага?
- А это смотря с какой стороны будете вытираться! allanecdots.ru
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Интересно, кто в Гидрометцентре главный ощущатель, который оценивает ощущаемую температуру?
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- Мне нужна волшебная палочка.
- Есть только крабовые. allanecdots.ru
- Давайте.
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- Какие вкусные пирожки, хозяюшка! Поделишься секретом?
- Конечно. Твоя жена спит с твоим начальником... allanecdots.ru
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Русалка - это девушка, которая в детстве ела много сладкого.
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- Вы новая секретарша моего мужа?
- Да. allanecdots.ru
- Надеюсь, вы не столь энергичны, как ваша предшественница...
- А кто была моя предшественница?
- Я.
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