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Vaserman_Druz_
2015-09-23- Женился?
- Женился. allanecdots.ru
- Ну и как жена?
- Ребята хвалили.
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Молодой муж после свадьбы говорит приятелю:
- Сегодня у моей жены начинается медовый месяц. allanecdots.ru
- Только у нее?
- Но ты же знаешь, что я диабетик.
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Собирается пожилая пара на банкет. Муж жене:
- Ну, ты прям как Клеопатра! allanecdots.ru
Жена, кокетливо:
- Такая же красивая?!
Муж:
- Такая же древняя!
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- У меня и правда есть чувства к тебе.
- Правда? allanecdots.ru
- Да. Я чувствую, что ты действуешь мне на нервы.
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У прапора спрашивают: - Ваш любимый вид спорта? - Футбол! - А любимая команда? - Рота, подъём!
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- Люся, говорят, у тебя муж известным спортсменом был?
- Ага, койкобежцем. allanecdots.ru
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Чукча говорит жене:
- Не знаешь, почему про нас говорят, что мы такие (стучит по дереву)? allanecdots.ru
Жена:
- Стучат.
Чукча:
- Сиди, я сам открою.
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Чукча приходит с жалобой в ЖЭК:
- Отрегулируйте, позалиста, унитаз. Вода очень быстро течет, мыться не успеваю. allanecdots.ru
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Проходит сельскохозяйственная конференция. Встает Француз:
- Мы сеем картошку 15 мая, а снимаем урожай 16 сентября. allanecdots.ru
Встает Англичанин:
- Мы сеем картошку 15 апреля, а урожай снимаем 16 августа.
Встает Чукча:
- Мы сеем картошку 15 июня, а снимаем урожай 16 июня.
Его спрашивают:
- Через день? А почему так рано?
- Очень кушать хочется.
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При наличии острого языка желательно иметь в запасе либо быстрые ноги, либо сильные руки.
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