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ВадимРазные 2015-07-19

Русская девушка с красивым именем Василиса вышла замуж за болгарского парня по имени Светлан. Теперь их ребенок выносит мозг окружающим, говоря, что его маму зовут Вася, а папу - Света...

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Юрий НиколаевичРазные 2015-07-19

- Ваше образование?
- Образовался я в процессе слияния яйцеклетки со сперматозоидом... allanecdots.ru

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Юрий НиколаевичРазные 2015-07-19

Армянин - aрмянину:
- Я слышaл у тебя сын родился, кaк нaзвaли? allanecdots.ru
- В честь Гaгaринa!
- Юрик, что ли?
- Неее, кaкой Юрик? Гaгaрик!

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Юрий НиколаевичРазные 2015-07-19

Один мужик жалуется приятелю:
- Никак не могу найти идеального квартиранта, чтобы не пил, не курил, не сорил, не слушал музыку, баб не водил, лежал бы себе тихо. У тебя никого нет на примете? allanecdots.ru
- А Ленин не подойдет?

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Юрий НиколаевичРазные 2015-07-19

- Мама, я еду домой, что-нибудь купить?
- Купи себе квартиру и живи отдельно!!! allanecdots.ru

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Юрий НиколаевичРазные 2015-07-19

Жена - мужу:
- Не смей говорить, когда я тебя перебиваю. allanecdots.ru

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Юрий НиколаевичРазные 2015-07-18

Взмыленные родители подбегают к двенадцатилетней девочке:
- Ах ты дрянная девчонка!.. Мы с папой уже все бары и дискотеки оббегали!.. А она у подъезда... На качелях качается! allanecdots.ru

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Юрий НиколаевичРазные 2015-07-18

Разгневанный сержант вбегает в казарму и орет:
- Какая сволочь 5 минут назад сказала моей девушке на проходной, что каждая нашивка обозначает ребенка? allanecdots.ru

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Юрий НиколаевичРазные 2015-07-18

- С той минуты, как я познакомился с вами, - говорит мужчина своей курортной знакомой, - я не могу ни есть, ни пить, ни курить...
- Вы так сильно полюбили меня? allanecdots.ru
- Нет, просто на все это не остается денег.

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Юрий НиколаевичРазные 2015-07-18

В суде:
- Надеюсь, вы знаете, что вас ждет за дачу ложных показаний? allanecdots.ru
- Да, обещали BMW...

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Юрий НиколаевичРазные 2015-07-18

- Берримор, ваша жена всю ночь плакала. Вы что, плохо с ней обошлись?
- Напротив, прекрасно обошелся без неё. allanecdots.ru

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