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Gergt
2013-12-22Тихий спокойный вечер. Сидят парень с девушкой в парке на лавочке. Девушка, взяв его руки в свои: - У нас с тобой такой дикий ceкc и такая страстная романтика - любой позавидует, правда ведь?
- Это да!... allanecdots.ru
- Может тогда давай наконец-то поженимся?
- Вот это мне больше делать нечего, одним махом всего этого лишиться!
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- Дорогая, а что ты мне подаришь на Новый год?
- СЕБЯ! allanecdots.ru
- А, ну конечно год Лошади же!
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Сидит мужик на кухне, вдруг выползает таракан и говорит: - Слышь, хозяин, у сына свадьба, под холодильником играем, плесни туда дихлофосу для веселья, а то твой карандаш уже не вставляет!
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Встретились два армейских дружка.
- Ну, ты как, женился? allanecdots.ru
- Да нет, холостяк.
- И не жалеешь?
- Да чего жалеть, нормально живу. Купил ферму, развожу телят, чистый воздух, здоровый образ жизни. У меня бык, сотня коров...
- Ну, ты счастлив?
- Можно сказать, да. Не так, конечно, как мой бык...
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Дорогой, я нашла твою заначку и всю спустила в ресторане с подругами. Ничего страшного, дорогая, это я тебе на новую шубу копил.
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- Папочка, я когда вырасту, буду такой красивой как ты?
- Ну, я думаю ты будешь такой красивой как мама! allanecdots.ru
-Неее, как мама это долго! Я видела как она сначала крем, потом тушь, потом помаду,
потом причёску. А ты встал, умылся – и уже красивый!
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Жена узнав, что муж уходит к молодой любовнице, вышла замуж за отца любовницы, и стала мужу тёщей…
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Замужнюю женщину дома всегда ждут: Маленький Чекупила, и Большой Чепожрать…
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Сижу в офисе, со мной четыре мужика... Работаем.
Заходит мужик с пачкой документов, осматривается и говорит: А кто здесь Нина? allanecdots.ru
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- Ходили с папой в тир.
- Как успехи? allanecdots.ru
- Охотой нам не прожить.
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Очень весёлый папаша назвал своего сына Иегова, чтобы на свадьбе поржать над его свидетелем.
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