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Георгий
2020-11-20- А я порчу снимаю.
- Гадалкой, что ли, работаешь? allanecdots.ru
- Нет. В супермаркете дату на просрочке перебиваю.
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Мужик щелкает пультом дистанционного управления телевизором:
- Все козлы, все козлы, все слоны. allanecdots.ru
Жена с кухни:
- О, до Энимал Плэнет долистал.
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- Давай пиццу закажем?
- Ты чо?! Мы же худеем. Давай пешком за ней сходим. allanecdots.ru
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Ничто так не отвлекает от глобальных проблем, как решение мелких задач.
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Леди Гага появляется обнаженной в аптеке и просит ведро валерьянки:
- Через полчаса я должна быть на приеме и мне бы хотелось появиться в платье из живых котов... allanecdots.ru
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В Питере в кои-то веки выдался прекрасный солнечный денёк.
Можно сидеть за компьютером с открытым окном. allanecdots.ru
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- Почему защитники животных борются против меха, а не против кожи?
- Потому что доставать состоятельных женщин значительно безопаснее, чем байкеров. allanecdots.ru
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Китайское правительство победило саранчу, объявив её съедобной.
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Идет генерал по части и командует:
- Этого расстрелять, этого повесить, этого утопить… allanecdots.ru
Вдруг один из солдат выкрикивает:
- Товарищ генерал, а если я не хочу?
Генерал: - Так, этого не стрелять, он не хочет!
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