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Natalita
2014-06-27Мать 11 детей заявила, что до полной коллекции ей не хватает только Водолея...
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В ожидании гостей Рабинович предупреждает жену: - Праздничный сервиз можешь поставить на стол, а серебряные ложечки не подавай.
- Яша, неужели ты думаешь, что гости могут их украсть? allanecdots.ru
- Нет, Сара, я таки думаю, что их могут узнать.
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Василий Петрович из Калуги, собираясь на охоту, по ошибке взял сигареты сына, и уже к обеду, на лесной поляне, застрелил трех жирафов.
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Спор с девушкой - как задержание правоохранительными органами. Все, что ты скажешь, будет использовано против тебя.
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Приходит в детский садик новая воспитательница. Детишки мелкие, года по 3, сидят, притихли, смотрят на новую тетю внимательно.
- Здравствуйте, дети. Меня зовут Жанна Геннадьевна. Тишина. Детишки переваривают сложное имя-отчество, только слышно как ресницы шуршат... И тут тихонько, чей-то робкий голосок: allanecdots.ru
- Жадина Говядина?
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Большую часть номеров я записываю в телефон исключительно потому, чтобы в дальнейшем знать, когда не брать трубку.
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Десятиклассника спалили, когда он курил за гаражами, потому что гаражи видел только он.
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Муж внимательно смотрит по телевизору футбольный матч, и не обращает внимания на жену.
- Дорогой, хочешь, я разденусь догола? allanecdots.ru
- До гола?! А кто забьет?
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У нас воспитанная Питерская кошка: она не ссыт в подъезде – она мочится в парадной.
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Проспал на работу? Ложись дальше спать – завтра попробуешь еще раз!
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Пессимист - всегда спит с ножом под подушкой.
Оптимист - тоже: вдруг кто-нибудь с тортиком придет. allanecdots.ru
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