Просто смешные анекдоты

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GergtРазные 2014-12-08

- Послушай, Фима, у тебя нет на примете честного, хорошего бухгалтера?
- Есть, но ему ещe два года сидеть. allanecdots.ru

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GergtРазные 2014-12-08

- Молодой человек, купите цветы своей девушке, а то я уже замёрзла здесь стоять...
- А почём цветочки? allanecdots.ru
- Сто рублей штучка.
- Вам нужно теплее одеваться...

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Vaserman_Druz`Разные 2014-12-08

Приходит муж домой с охоты уставший и злой.
- Жена! Ты знаешь, какое коварное животное лиса ? allanecdots.ru
- Hет. А почему ты так думаешь ?
- Да вот иду я по лесу, вдруг вижу - лиса бежит. Я заряжаю ружье, прицеливаюсь, стреляю - лиса падает. Дай, думаю, пойду заберу лису: подхожу я к ней, глядь - а это собака!!!

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Vaserman_Druz`Разные 2014-12-08

Разговор двух секретарш:
- Страшное это изобретение - печатная машинка! allanecdots.ru
- Почему?
- Когда не работаешь - всем сразу слышно.

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Vaserman_Druz`Разные 2014-12-08

Раньше у меня телевизор принимал только 9 каналов, и было совершенно нечего смотреть. Тогда я подключил кабельное.
- Ну и как теперь? allanecdots.ru
- О-о-о, теперь у меня намного больше нечего смотреть!

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Vaserman_Druz`Разные 2014-12-08

Как известно - в России две беды. Одну из них можно решить с помощью асфальтовых катков. Да и дороги при этом улучшаются.

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Vaserman_Druz`Разные 2014-12-08

- Ты ща где?
- Я у Серёги! allanecdots.ru
- Да мне пофигу, где ты! Где ТЫЩА?

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Vaserman_Druz`Разные 2014-12-08

Богат русский язык! Казалось бы, уже есть слова: воровство, кража и жульничество.
Так нет, придумали еще один синоним - "нанотехнологии". allanecdots.ru

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Vaserman_Druz`Разные 2014-12-08

Встретились две подруги:
- Как ты похудела! allanecdots.ru
- Да мне муж изменяет, волнуюсь, нервничаю...
- Так разведись с ним!
- Не могу, мне ещё три кило надо сбросить...

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юрийРазные 2014-12-07

- Шайба летит в комментаторскую.
- Шмена шаштава. allanecdots.ru

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юрийРазные 2014-12-07

- Вчера решила приколоться над своим мужем - подложила ему в карман пиджака свои трусики, чтобы потом закатить шуточную сцену ревности и посмотреть как он отреагирует.
- Ну, и как? Шутка удалась? allanecdots.ru
- Шутка?! Да он во всем признался!

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