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2013-02-01- Эрл, поехали на ярмарку, там будет самый высокий карлик в мире!
- Ренди, это обман, шарлатанство. allanecdots.ru
- Ну почему же? Он примерно с тебя ростом.
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В тюрьме перед телевизором сидят два рецидивиста, смотрят очередной юбилейный концерт Аллы Пугачевой. Вдруг один из них говорит:
- Надо же, Борисовне уже за шестьдесят, а выглядит как! Супер! И как только ей это удается? allanecdots.ru
- А че тут "как удается"? Всю жизнь на воле, хавает сплошной центряк: маргарин, повидло, пряники, тушенку...
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- Расскажите, за что вас удалили с поля?
- Ну... судья сказал, что бить нужно только по свистку... Вот я и ударил. allanecdots.ru
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- Перед отлетом в аэропорту я шаурмы перехватил.
- Ну а там, в Германии, что видел? allanecdots.ru
- Сантехника у них везде отличная.
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Сидит профессор, что-то сосредоточенно пишет. Рядом, в клетке, две гориллы. Одна - другой:
- Обрати внимание на интересную зависимость - стоит нажать двадцать раз на рычажок, как он встает и приносит банан. allanecdots.ru
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- У меня для тебя две новости, хорошая и плохая! С какой начать?
- Да без разницы... allanecdots.ru
- Я от тебя ухожу!
- А плохая?
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В голове её опилки, не-бе-да!!!
А вот в лифчике - бумага... Это да... allanecdots.ru
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- Мужики, кто-нибудь разбирается в растениях? Я герань залил, что делать?
- И что, сильно? allanecdots.ru
- Соседи снизу сказали, сильно.
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Первые занятия на курсах сантехников начинаются с фразы: "Забудьте все, чему вас учили порнофильмы!"
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- Дорогой, я сегодня без трусиков...
- Люся, ну хватит уже об этом! Скоро работу найду, купим тебе всё. allanecdots.ru
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Железнодорожница спрашивает у бегущего за поездом и размахивающего руками мужчины:
- Вы что, на поезд опоздали? allanecdots.ru
- Нет, блин, я его с вокзала выгоняю!
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