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Gergt
2014-10-31Холодильник - самый яркий пример того, что не важно, что снаружи, а важно лишь то, что внутри.
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Жена - мужу:
- Ты даже не заметил, что я покрасилась! allanecdots.ru
- Да заметил я.
- А я не покрасилась!!!
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Чем меньше женщину мы любим, тем хуже борщ, рубашки не наглажены, носки не стираны и дети на тебя не очень-то похожи…
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Умение накормить мужчину делает женщину в 1,5 раза красивее и увеличивает размер груди на 1 размер.
А напоить - повышает всё перечисленное примерно впятеро. allanecdots.ru
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Катаясь на американских горках с учительницей русского языка, дети узнали много исключений из правил.
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Заяц в лесу, зимой. Холодно ему, сложно зайцу выжить в такие морозы. Голодный, не ел всю зиму. Вдруг видит - снеговик, а между ног у него морковка. Заяц остановился и смотрит.
Снеговик ему: - Ну что, косой, брезгуешь? allanecdots.ru
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В психбольнице больные смотрят утром по телику новости. Один вдруг хлопает себя по коленке: - Хорошо, что я в психушке! За его спиной санитары друг другу: - Да... Этот, кажись, выздоровел.
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Лучшей мотивацией учиться, была фраза отца: «Александр - это защитник по-гречески, так что выбирай: ты либо защищаешь диплом, либо защищаешь родину»
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- Представляешь, у моей жены есть сестра-двойняшка!..
- И что, часто ли ты их путаешь? allanecdots.ru
- Ну, как тебе сказать... Стараюсь!
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Когда начинала встречаться со своим парнем, у него была тогда еще девушка... Прошло 2 года, мы женаты. Вопрос: какого черта я до сих пор в телефоне подписана как "Леха шиномонтаж"?
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- Чего делаешь?
- Сижу сыр косичкой ем, а ты че делаешь? allanecdots.ru
- Сижу чай ртом пью.
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