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Gergt
2015-03-18Черти предложили ангелам сыграть в футбол.
- Мы согласны, - ответили ангелы. - Тем более, что самые лучшие игроки находятся у нас... allanecdots.ru
- Возможно, - не стали спорить черти, - зато все судьи наши...
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- А ты понравилась моим родителям, они сказали что ты умная и милая.
- Очень приятно... allanecdots.ru
- Но я не выдержал и сказал, что они плохо тебя знают.
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- И кому ты будешь нужна с детьми?
- Детям! А ты? allanecdots.ru
- А я банкам, у меня кредиты.
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В чисто женском коллективе, ввиду отсутствия мужчин, пришлось найти козу отпущения.
allanecdots.ru
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Ничто так не убеждает в существовании души, как ощущение того, что в неё насрали.
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- Мамочка, я не хочу идти в садик! Там плохо!
- Ну увольняйся, доченька, обойдутся без воспитательницы! allanecdots.ru
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Детство кончилось в тот момент, когда мама перестала прятать от тебя конфеты, а папа начал прятать коньяк.
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Диалог в ресторане экзотической кухни:
- Ух ты! У них в меню есть суп со слоновьим мясом! allanecdots.ru
- Мало ли, что у них там в меню написано! Они вечно из мухи слона делают...
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– Подсудимый, признаёте ли вы, что убили пострадавшего?
– Нет. allanecdots.ru
– Известно ли вам, каково наказание за ложь под присягой?
– Да – значительно меньшее, чем за убийство.
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- Маша на тебе очень красивое платье!
- А я сама красивая? allanecdots.ru
- Маша, если бы ко мне зашло только платье, то я бы промолчал.
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- Дорогой, ты где был?
- Бегал... allanecdots.ru
- А почему футболка сухая и совсем не пахнет??
- Так это же футболка твоего мужа.
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