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Gergt
2015-03-20Сегодня, ровно 5 лет как я женился!
А все началось с того, что я заметил ее в одном из автобусов нашего города и стал пристально смотреть. Ничего бы не случилось, если бы она не подошла со словами: "Молодой человек, я не музейный экспонат! На меня не только смотреть можно!" allanecdots.ru
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Если вы оооочень быстро трете на терке морковку, то ваш салатик имеет все шансы стать не совсем вегетарианским…
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- Все красивые парни встречаются мне, когда я плохо выгляжу.
- Где ж ты столько красивых парней каждый день встречаешь? allanecdots.ru
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Моя девушка сказала, что мне надо повзрослеть. Я ничего не ответил. Сложно отвечать, когда у тебя 45 мармеладных мишек во рту.
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- Ты такая лёгонькая, прямо как облачко!
- Хм-м... Средний вес облака – 800 тонн. allanecdots.ru
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- Папа, а у мамы какое из полушарий отвечает за логическое мышление?
- Ты какие полушария имеешь в виду? allanecdots.ru
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- Мужчине что ни скажи, - говорит жена мужу, - в одно ухо влетает, из другого вылетает.
- Зато у вас по-другому. Влетает в оба уха, а вылетает через рот. allanecdots.ru
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Судья:
- Вы должны хотя бы попытаться стать другим человеком! allanecdots.ru
- Я уже пробовал это сделать...
- Ну и что?
- Отсидел за подделку документов...
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Дорогие девушки, не давайте парням ложные надежды. Не оставляйте пустую сковороду на плите с закрытой крышкой.
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- Серега, привет, какие у тебя планы?
- Наполеоновские! allanecdots.ru
- Тоже решил валить из России?
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- У меня вилка упала.
- Значит, женщина придет. allanecdots.ru
- Вилка пластмассовая...
- Значит, женщина будет резиновая!
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