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2015-03-26- Я отдала тебе лучшие годы моей жизни! - орет жена мужу.
- Не пугай меня, неужели впереди еще и худшие? allanecdots.ru
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Сара обращается к мужу:
- Абрам, я сегодня прочла в газете, что Запад ужасно загнивает. У них там кризис, инфляция, безработица, СПИД, проститутки... allanecdots.ru
- О! - вдруг восклицает Абрам.
- Что - "о"?..
- Ничего. Я вспомнил, где забыл вчера свои галоши.
| - Ничего. Я вспомнил, где забыл вчера свои галоши." data-url="https://allanecdots.ru/41948/" data-title="Разные" data-image="https://allanecdots.ru/smajlik.jpg" data-services="whatsapp,vkontakte,collections,facebook,odnoklassniki,moimir,gplus,twitter,lj,viber,telegram" data-limit="3"> | Комментировать |
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Дама заходит в очень дорогой бутик. Продавец:
- Здравствуйте, разрешите представить вам новую коллекцию, это эксклюзив! А, извините, деньги у вас есть?.. allanecdots.ru
- Нет...
- Ну и что ты припёрлась, шла бы на рынок!
- У меня карточка.
- И снова здравствуйте!
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- У кого сильнее развита сила воли: мужчины или женщины?
- Конечно, у мужчины! Разве женщина способна, например, три дня спокойно ходить мимо мойки с кучей грязной посуды? allanecdots.ru
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- Сынок, смотри: у меня 850 рублей. У мамы 150 рублей. Сколько денег у мамы?
- 1000 рублей. allanecdots.ru
- Верно, сынок.
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- Ты спишь по пару часов в сутки... Как ты умудряешься высыпаться?
- Куда? allanecdots.ru
- А, понятно.
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– Всем доброе утро! Лена, сделайте мне кофе, пожалуйста.
– Кофе делают в Латинской Америке. А я его просто готовлю. allanecdots.ru
– Лена, умничать надо было в школе на экзаменах.
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- Что означает пословица "И волки сыты и овцы целы"?
- Значит, что волки сожрали пастуха и собаку... allanecdots.ru
| - Значит, что волки сожрали пастуха и собаку... " data-url="https://allanecdots.ru/41935/" data-title="Разные" data-image="https://allanecdots.ru/smajlik.jpg" data-services="whatsapp,vkontakte,collections,facebook,odnoklassniki,moimir,gplus,twitter,lj,viber,telegram" data-limit="3"> | Комментировать |
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После длительной командировки муж возвращается домой. Жена ему говорит:
- Милый! Ты хотя бы поцеловал меня! allanecdots.ru
- Но, дорогая! - отвечает он. - После шести лет супружества - и такие оргии!
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- Папа, папа, а что такое двоеженство?
- Это когда у человека одна лишняя жена. allanecdots.ru
- А одноженство?
- То же самое, сынок.
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- Ну как идут часы с кукушкой, которые я вам починил?
- О да, кукушка высовывается каждый час и спрашивает, который час. allanecdots.ru
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