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Gergt
2015-04-10Что-то со здоровьем - аппетит уже не тот.
После двадцатого пельменя остальные десять доедаю безо всякого удовольствия. allanecdots.ru
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- Доброе утро, мадам. Как ваша головная боль?
- Ушел играть в карты. allanecdots.ru
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- А у меня завтра выходной!..
- Вот сука!.. allanecdots.ru
- О, первый адекватный человек!.. А то все - "классно тебе", "завидую", "вот мне бы так"...
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- Сбрось его, он ни в чем не виноват!
- Ты о чем вообще? allanecdots.ru
- Я про твой вес.
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- Почему полёт осы такой непредсказуемый?
- А как летать иначе - с шилом-то в жопе? allanecdots.ru
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- Эх, Вадик... Вернуть бы нашу первую встречу. Я бы не пришла!..
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Мужик после развода читает свой паспорт и думает:
"В паспорте только под 3 жены еще места осталось. Надо с умом потратить." allanecdots.ru
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- Помнится, ты сильно раздражался, когда твоя подружка называла тебя
"котиком". Как тебе удалось отучить ее от этого? allanecdots.ru
- Написал ей в туфли...
| - Написал ей в туфли..." data-url="https://allanecdots.ru/42462/" data-title="Разные" data-image="https://allanecdots.ru/smajlik.jpg" data-services="whatsapp,vkontakte,collections,facebook,odnoklassniki,moimir,gplus,twitter,lj,viber,telegram" data-limit="3"> | Комментировать |
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- За что был уволен разведчик Сидоров?
- Да за то, что, добравшись до центрального компьютера Пентагона и увидев на мониторе совершенно секретные сведения, он украл только монитор. allanecdots.ru
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Психолог:
- У вас умер дедушка. allanecdots.ru
Оптимист:
- А у меня еще один есть.
- И вы опаздываете на похороны.
- А я сяду в машину и по газам.
- Нет, вы боитесь ездить за рулем.
- А я выпью для храбрости бутылку водки.
- Вот! И вас, пьяного, останавливает ГАИшник.
- А я договорюсь.
- Не договоритесь - это женщина.
- А я познакомлюсь.
- Но она страшная.
- А я-то уже пьяный!
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Увидел детскую книжечку "Новые приключения Колобка". Был заинтригован. Старые приключения Колобка сами знаете, чем закончились.
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