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GergtРазные 2015-04-22

- Ты где вчера был?
- Да к другу в гости ходил. Всю ночь в шахматы играли. allanecdots.ru
- Ну и кто кого?
- Никто никого!!! Мы в шахматы играли.

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GergtРазные 2015-04-22

Вопрос из кроссворда:
- На какую городскую службу резко увеличивается нагрузка в минуты телерекламы? allanecdots.ru
Ответ:
- Канализация.

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GergtРазные 2015-04-22

- У тебя сейчас что-то в жизни происходит?
- Да. allanecdots.ru
- Что?
- У меня пельмешки варятся.
- А если серьезно?
- Ты думаешь, есть смысл врать насчет пельмешек?

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GergtРазные 2015-04-22

Дон Кихоту никогда еще не попадалась такая увертливая мельница. А Карлосон был в восторге от игры в салочки.

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GergtРазные 2015-04-22

Бухгалтер проверяет счета, которые привез служащий из командировки:
- Это что за астрономическая сумма? allanecdots.ru
- Счет за гостиницу.
- А кто вас уполномочил покупать гостиницу?

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GergtРазные 2015-04-22

Если фильм смотрят один раз - это плохой фильм.
Если фильм смотрят два раза - это хороший фильм. allanecdots.ru
Если фильм смотрят три раза - это отличный фильм.
Если фильм смотрят бесконечно - это "Ирония судьбы,.."

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Vaserman_Druz`Разные 2015-04-22

- Гы, Светка! Я тебя вижу, а ты меня нет! Я Димко-невидимко!
- Дмитрий Иванович, снимите, пожалуйста, чулок с головы - к вам идут посетители. allanecdots.ru

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Vaserman_Druz`Разные 2015-04-22

- Сань, дай денег взаймы, а то я с Пашей поссорился…
- А когда отдашь? allanecdots.ru
- Руслан, дай денег взаймы, а то я с Саней поссорился.

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Vaserman_Druz`Разные 2015-04-22

Создано первое в мире терапиксельное изображение - учёные всего мира бьются над вопросом - зачем?!

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Vaserman_Druz`Разные 2015-04-22

Жена ругается:
- Ты сволочь! Негодяй! Мерзавец! Я от тебя ухожу! Между нами всё кончено! Дай мне денег на билет, тварь, я уезжаю к маме! allanecdots.ru
Муж протягивает ей деньги.
- Подлец! А на обратный билет?

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Vaserman_Druz`Разные 2015-04-22

Как вы думаете, во сколько я встану утром, если сейчас два часа ночи, будильник я завел на восемь, а пол-арбуза уже доел?

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