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2015-05-18- Как тебе не стыдно? Ответь, да или нет? Чего ты молчишь?!
- Я не знаю как правильно: "Да, не стыдно" или "Нет, не стыдно"... allanecdots.ru
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Судья:
- Итак, гражданка Сидорова, в чем причина развода? allanecdots.ru
- Ваша честь, задета моя честь! - заявляет истица.
- Ваша честь? - переспрашивает судья.
- Да, Ваша честь, моя честь!
- Что моя честь?
- Да нет, Ваша честь, не ваша честь, а моя честь!
- Я не понял: моя честь - это ваша честь? - спрашивает судья.
- Вашу мать, ваша честь! Все, передумала я разводиться!
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Раннее утро 1 Января. Лесная поляна. Наряженная Ёлка. Рядом снеговик. кругом разбросаны конфетти, петарды, остатки фейерверков. Все уже разошлись.
На полянку выскакивает заяц и видит, что морковка у снеговика вставлена в нижний ком. Заяц начинает недоумённо оглядываться. allanecdots.ru
Снеговик сверху:
- Что, косой, неужто побрезгуешь??
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Жена мужу: - Надо бы мусор вынести, а лень...
Муж: - Кто олень?! allanecdots.ru
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- Вы кредитные карты принимаете?
- Да, конечно. allanecdots.ru
- Вот, возьмите.
- Но это же вафля…
- Хм, заметила.
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- Наталья! Сейчас Вы пройдёте тест на IQ
- А что такое IQ? allanecdots.ru
- Тест завершён.
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Все-таки есть на свете справедливость. К соседу, который полгода делал ремонт и ежедневно будил нас спозаранку грохотом перфоратора, по окончании ремонта переехала теща. Насовсем!
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В жены надо выбирать такую девушку, которая любит поесть.
Она всегда приготовит себе покушать, ну и тебе что-то останется. allanecdots.ru
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Если в момент, когда вы признаетесь в любви, на пару секунд замереть и прислушаться, можно услышать тихое: "Нееет".
Это вы из будущего кричите. allanecdots.ru
| Это вы из будущего кричите." data-url="https://allanecdots.ru/45066/" data-title="Разные" data-image="https://allanecdots.ru/smajlik.jpg" data-services="whatsapp,vkontakte,collections,facebook,odnoklassniki,moimir,gplus,twitter,lj,viber,telegram" data-limit="3"> | Комментировать |
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Как завести мужа:
1. Установить диван возле ТВ и розетки. allanecdots.ru
2. Поставить рядом пиво.
3. Насыпать еды.
4. Открыть дверь в квартиру.
5. Ждать.
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- Василий, ты уже вторую сумку теряешь!
- Я же работаю! А в работе возможны ошибки... allanecdots.ru
- Ты инкассатор!
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