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GergtРазные 2015-05-20

Жена говорит мужу: - Ужин скоро будет готов. Потом я выкупаю детей, уложу их спать, пришью пуговицы к твоей рубашке, и можно будет пойти в кино.
- Очень хорошо, говорит муж. А когда ты сбегаешь за билетами? allanecdots.ru

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GergtРазные 2015-05-20

- Купила лотерейный билет, - сказала она мужу. Если я выиграю, куплю себе норковую шубку.
- А если не выиграешь? allanecdots.ru
- Тогда ты мне её купишь!

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GergtРазные 2015-05-20

У супружеской пары двенадцать детей. Муж приходит после работы домой уставший, а дома - шум, крик, драки...
Жена жалуется ему: - Видишь, что они вытворяют? Самый задиристый из них - Коля. allanecdots.ru
- Коля? - удивляется муж. Оказывается у нас есть еще и Коля?

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GergtРазные 2015-05-20

Женская общага... Одна девушка собирается на свидание. Две другие ей помагают... Одна говорит: - Давай 50 для храбрости!
Другая с сомненьем: - Может быть 100 для глупости? allanecdots.ru

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GergtРазные 2015-05-20

Кабинет Обамы. Заходит Хилари Клинтон и видит что на стене висит портрет Чапаева. Она спрашивает: - Это кто?
Обама: - Это русские подарили... Не знаю кто это, но белых он тоже не любил.. allanecdots.ru

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Vaserman_Druz`Разные 2015-05-20

- Милый, скажи что-нибудь приятное.
- Ты так прекрасна, как Новогоднее утро... allanecdots.ru

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Vaserman_Druz`Разные 2015-05-20

Утро. Пивной ларек, очередь. Подбегает мужик и мимо очереди бросается прямо к окошку:
- Кружку пива, побыстрее – у меня все горит! allanecdots.ru
- Мужик, встань в очередь! Здесь у всех горит!
- Я не могу ждать – я пожарный!

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Vaserman_Druz`Разные 2015-05-20

Известного социолога спросили:
- Скажите, каким образом слишком услужливый подчиненный может погубить своего шефа? allanecdots.ru
- Способов много, - ответил социолог, - но самый простой, если подчиненный от избытка старания бросает тонущему начальнику оба конца спасательного каната.

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Vaserman_Druz`Разные 2015-05-20

У учителя спрашивают:
- Назовите три причины, по которым вы любите свою работу? allanecdots.ru
- Июнь, июль, август...

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Vaserman_Druz`Разные 2015-05-20

На даче:
- Похоже, у меня давление чересчур повысилось! allanecdots.ru
- Как ты определил?
- На мне комары взрываются!

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GergtРазные 2015-05-19

- Вчера к моим ногам бросали цветы.
- Ну и как бросали? allanecdots.ru
- Бабка в метро горшок с геранью уронила мне под ноги...

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