Просто смешные анекдоты

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GergtРазные 2015-06-10

Кто-нибудь знает, по какой посуде, в какой тональности и чем нужно стучать, чтобы МИСТЕР ПРОПЕР помыл всю квартиру?

GergtРазные 2015-06-10

- Удивительно, как быстро меняется человек после свадьбы!
- И не говори. До женитьбы мне нравились буквально все женщины. allanecdots.ru
- А сейчас?
- А сейчас я люблю на одну меньше.

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GergtРазные 2015-06-10

- Ты смотрел фильм "Война миров"?
- Смотрел. allanecdots.ru
- Странно, в оригинале у Толстого многое по-другому было.

- Смотрел.
- Странно, в оригинале у Толстого многое по-другому было." data-url="https://allanecdots.ru/46419/" data-title="Разные" data-image="https://allanecdots.ru/smajlik.jpg" data-services="whatsapp,vkontakte,collections,facebook,odnoklassniki,moimir,gplus,twitter,lj,viber,telegram" data-limit="3">

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GergtРазные 2015-06-10

Мужчина - женщине: - Сколько вам лет?
- Восемнадцать... allanecdots.ru
Он, с сомнением: - Это в у. е.?!

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GergtРазные 2015-06-10

- Сударь, а почему Вы не просите моей руки?
- Сударыня, но вы же замужем! allanecdots.ru
- Так у меня же их две!

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GergtРазные 2015-06-10

- Марина, представляешь, я вчера за полтора часа сожгла аж 1500 калорий!
- За один день, вот это да! Запиши рецепт! allanecdots.ru
- Какой рецепт, Таня, я курицу в духовку поставила, а сама за компьютер села. Птичка и сгорела!

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GergtРазные 2015-06-10

- Идиот, я из-за тебя реферат не защитил!!!
- Я то тут при чем? allanecdots.ru
- Я у тебя спрашивал как у препода инициалы, ты что мне сказал???!!!
- ХЗ...
- Я так и написал!!! А он - Игорь Владимирович!!!

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GergtРазные 2015-06-10

- Меня вчера на стадионе изнасиловали!
- Чего же ты не кричала? allanecdots.ru
- Там все кричали...

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GergtРазные 2015-06-10

Мастер на все руки женился на больной на всю голову... Теперь дурная голова рукам покоя не дает.

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GergtРазные 2015-06-10

- Может поужинаем когда-нибудь?
- Мне вообще-то хочется каждый день ужинать. allanecdots.ru

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GergtРазные 2015-06-10

Самолет поднялся в воздух - и вдруг выясняется, что на сто пассажиров взяли только сорок обедов.
Стюардесса объявляет: allanecdots.ru
- Каждый, кто любезно откажется от обеда в пользу других пассажиров - будет бесплатно получать выпивку в течение всего полета.
Через час стюардесса снова объявляет:
- Если кто-нибудь из пассажиров передумал - мы рады сообщить: у нас еще осталось тридцать восемь порций обеда...

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10 анекдотов недели

10 анекдотов месяца

Лучшие за все время

Просто смешные анекдоты