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Vaserman_Druz_
2015-06-22- Ты где живешь?
- В поселке городского типа. allanecdots.ru
- И что, хозяин часто из города наезжает?
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Дурь - это особая форма материи, которая не возникает ниоткуда и не исчезает никуда, а лишь переходит, из одной головы в другую.
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- Алло! Да... Знаю, что восемнадцать... В двадцать буду!
- Кто звонил? allanecdots.ru
- Да мамка. Спрашивала, когда я из армии вернусь.
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Девочка говорит мальчику:
- Моя мама меня очень любит. allanecdots.ru
- Почему ты так думаешь?
- У нас в семье отцы меняются каждые полгода, а меня она всегда оставляет.
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К врачу приходит больной и жалуется на боль в ноге.
- Гм, у вас серьезный вывих. И долго вы с ним ходите? allanecdots.ru
- Уже две недели.
- Две недели?! Как вы могли терпеть столько времени? Почему вы не пришли сразу?
- Видите ли, доктор, как только у меня что-нибудь начинает болеть, жена говорит, чтобы я бросил курить...
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- Дорогой, о чем ты сейчас думаешь?
- Если бы я хотел, чтобы ты знала, я бы не думал, а говорил. allanecdots.ru
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- Посоветуй, что купить жене на день рождения.
- А не проще ли спросить у нее самой? allanecdots.ru
- Ну... Таких денег у меня нет.
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- Вы, случайно, не видели здесь моего мужа? Мы должны были встретиться час назад.
- А как он выглядит? allanecdots.ru
- Ну, думаю, весь зеленый от злости...
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Жена - мужу:
- Ты что, опять спрятал моё вечернее платье? Шалун! А ну-ка, разожми кулачок! allanecdots.ru
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- А правда, что тебя укусила акула?
- Правда... allanecdots.ru
- А за что?!
- А вот это неправда!..
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- Последний мужик из нашей деревни ушёл в армию!
- А что, откосить не мог? allanecdots.ru
- Почему не мог?! Откосил - и ушёл.
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