Просто смешные анекдоты

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GergtРазные 2015-06-22

- Пап, помоги с домашним заданием. Какой род у слова "рефери": мужской, женский или средний?
- Смотря как судит... allanecdots.ru

- Смотря как судит..." data-url="https://allanecdots.ru/47001/" data-title="Разные" data-image="https://allanecdots.ru/smajlik.jpg" data-services="whatsapp,vkontakte,collections,facebook,odnoklassniki,moimir,gplus,twitter,lj,viber,telegram" data-limit="3">

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GergtРазные 2015-06-22

- А меня Василий на рыбалку пригласил!
- Обязательно сделай красивую прическу и побрей ноги! allanecdots.ru
- Да-а-а?... А я червей накопала..

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GergtРазные 2015-06-22

Мужик прыгнул с парашютом и спускается к земле...
Мимо летит орёл: allanecdots.ru
- Привет танцорам!
Парашютист: - Я не танцор, я парашютист!
Орёл: - Слышь, мужик - там внизу такие кактусы!!! Способности придут мгновенно..

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юрий николаевичРазные 2015-06-22

- Помнится, ты сильно раздражался, когда твоя подружка называла тебя "котиком". Как тебе удалось отучить ее от этого?
- Нассал ей в туфли... allanecdots.ru

- Нассал ей в туфли..." data-url="https://allanecdots.ru/46971/" data-title="Разные" data-image="https://allanecdots.ru/smajlik.jpg" data-services="whatsapp,vkontakte,collections,facebook,odnoklassniki,moimir,gplus,twitter,lj,viber,telegram" data-limit="3">

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юрий николаевичРазные 2015-06-22

- Дорогая, ты не знаешь, сколько лет живут козлы?
- Что, нездоровится? allanecdots.ru

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Vaserman_Druz_Разные 2015-06-22

Если я говорю "я люблю тебя", не нужно этих глупых вопросов типа "ты пьян?". Само собой разумеется, что я в говно.

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Vaserman_Druz_Разные 2015-06-22

Муж ухаживает за больной тещей.
С работы звонит жена: allanecdots.ru
- Доложи обстановку.
Муж:
- Температура 37,5 градуса, давление 145/90, влажность – 100%
Жена:
- Какая влажность?
Муж:
- Обоссалась…

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Vaserman_Druz_Разные 2015-06-22

Когда мы поженились, моя жена взяла себе мою фамилию. Теперь я просто Юрий.

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Vaserman_Druz_Разные 2015-06-22

Новость дня:
- В автомобиль Лада-Калина начали устанавливать климат-систему "Девушка с веером", она будет располагаться на заднем сиденье, позади водительского кресла. allanecdots.ru

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Vaserman_Druz_Разные 2015-06-22

Муж приходит домой к жене:
- Дорогая, я пришел домой. allanecdots.ru
- Дорогой, кажется, нас скоро станет трое!
Муж обнимает жену со слезами на глазах от радости. Жена:
- Завтра приезжает моя мама!

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Vaserman_Druz_Разные 2015-06-22

Объявление:
- Интеллигетная семья продаст двух фолтепьянов и одну роялю. Мешаются в калидоре... allanecdots.ru

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