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Юрий НиколаевичРазные 2015-07-23

Молодая девушка говорит сидящему мужчине:
- Ох, уступите место беременной женщине. allanecdots.ru
Тот уступает, затем присматривается - у нее ничего нет.
- Простите, а какой срок?
- 30 минут, но я так устала, так устала...

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Юрий НиколаевичРазные 2015-07-23

- Мама! У нас на сеновале голые!
- Не волнуйся, доченька, наверное, какие-нибудь дикие. allanecdots.ru
- Тетя, может быть и дикая, но папа наш... домашний!

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Юрий НиколаевичРазные 2015-07-22

Муж голый у зеркала:
- Еще бы плюс 2 см и я стал бы королем! allanecdots.ru
Жена глядя на него:
- А минус 2 см, и ты стал бы КОРОЛЕВОЙ...

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ВадимРазные 2015-07-22

Приходит индеец в тамошний паспортный стол.
- Я хочу поменять имя. allanecdots.ru
- Почему?
- Оно очень длинное.
- Ну и как ваше имя?
- Большекрылый дикий орел, камнем падающий с неба.
- Действительно длинновато... И какое же новое имя вы выбрали?
- Бум...

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Юрий НиколаевичРазные 2015-07-22

Дама спрашивает у приятеля:
- Как ты думаешь, почему мужчины седеют раньше женщин? allanecdots.ru
- Потому что у вас только одна яйцеклетка, а у нас 500 миллионов сперматозоидов. И за каждый душа болит!

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Юрий НиколаевичРазные 2015-07-22

На встречу Колобку попадается глобус:
- Братан! Какие наколки! allanecdots.ru

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Юрий НиколаевичРазные 2015-07-22

– Как определить, какой оборотень круче?
– Ну, тут на погоны смотреть надо… allanecdots.ru

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Юрий НиколаевичРазные 2015-07-22

- Дорогая, дай 500 рублей!
- Что? allanecdots.ru
- Четыреста!
- Зачем тебе триста, тебе и двести хватит, вон сто рублей на холодильнике лежат!

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Юрий НиколаевичРазные 2015-07-22

Идет лекция о вреде алкоголя.
- Известно немало случаев, - говорит лектор - когда жена уходит от мужа, который пьет... allanecdots.ru
Голос из зала:
- И сколько для этого надо выпить?

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Юрий НиколаевичРазные 2015-07-22

Диалог на форуме:
- Сколько весит медь в обмотках трансформаторной подстанции ТСШВП-160/6? allanecdots.ru
- Два года колонии общего режима.

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GergtРазные 2015-07-22

- Люся, ты Тихий океан знаешь?
- Да, Сёма. allanecdots.ru
- Ради тебя успокоил.

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