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Юрий Николаевич
2015-07-27- Что мужчина хочет услышать от девушки?
- Здесь все так дорого.. Может, сразу ко мне? allanecdots.ru
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Земля говорит Марсу:
- Не знаешь, что такое? На мне люди завелись. Бегают, стреляют, взрывают что-то. Что делать? allanecdots.ru
Марс отвечает:
- На мне тоже когда-то были. Ничего не делай - сами пройдут.
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Встречаются два друга:
- Чем занимаешься? allanecdots.ru
- Бизнесом. А ты?
- Я тоже. У тебя что?
- Ресторанчик в центре, элитный. Но как-то вяло, несколько человек днем, чуть больше вечером. А у тебя?
- А у меня просто вал народу. Думаю расширяться…
- Завидую. Крупный бизнес?
- Да, туалетная кабинка на площади Трех вокзалов.
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Наливаю кофе. Достаю шоколадку. Беру любимую книгу и закрываюсь на кухне на полчаса:
- Маааам, ты что там делаешь? allanecdots.ru
- Дети, я делаю для вас добрую маму.
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Офис. Девять вечера. Два запаренных бухгалтера готовят годовой отчет. Один отрывается от монитора и спрашивает другого:
- А сколько месяцев в году? allanecdots.ru
- А? Что?
- Месяцев в году?..
- Десять...Без НДС...
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- У тебя хоть какие-то чувства ко мне остались?!
- Да. Усталость. allanecdots.ru
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- Дорогой, я уже готова к детям.
- А я нет!!! allanecdots.ru
- Ничего не поделаешь. Лето заканчивается, надо их забирать из деревни…
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Когда чужой муж тратит последнюю тысячу на фейерверки и шампанское, то он, понимаете ли, романтик, а когда свой – дебил.
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Ознакомившись с ситуацией на рынке общепита, Михалков решил сеть закусочных "Едим дома" не открывать, а просто брать налог с каждого, кто ест дома.
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- А вот меня, кстати, переспорить невозможно.
- Так уж, так уж. Давай, я попробую! allanecdots.ru
- Ладно. Вот я считаю тебя добрым, умным и порядочным человеком. Попробуй меня опровергнуть!
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- Дорогой, мне приснилось, что на праздник ты мне подарил колье…
- Будешь себя хорошо вести, в следующем сне, я тебе норковую шубу подарю. allanecdots.ru
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