Просто смешные анекдоты

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Юрий НиколаевичРазные 2015-08-27

Жена оставила мужа с сыном дома. Звонит мужу с работы:
- Как вы там, мои мужчины? allanecdots.ru
- Царь спит, холоп игрушки собирает!

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Юрий НиколаевичРазные 2015-08-27

Взрослая жизнь - круто! Можно гулять, пить и веселиться сколько угодно... по дороге на свои три работы.

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Юрий НиколаевичРазные 2015-08-27

- Мама, а как мы появились на свет?
- Нас сотворил Господь. allanecdots.ru
- А папа сказал, что мы произошли от обезьян.
- Ну я тебе про своих родственников рассказываю, а папа - про своих...

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АнжеллаРазные 2015-08-27

Вообще, большинство пищевых отравлений начинается со слов: "Да что ему в холодильнике будет!?".

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АнжеллаРазные 2015-08-27

Жена жалуется мужу на поведение их сына:
- Он стал просто невыносим. Слушает только советы разных идиотов. Поговори с ним, я прошу тебя!!! allanecdots.ru

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АнжеллаРазные 2015-08-27

Подруга рассказывает другой:
- Такой ужас, вчера впервые ездила с мужем на рыбалку и мы с ним страшно поссорились. allanecdots.ru
- А что случилось?
- Ну, сначала я громко разговаривала и распугала всю рыбу, потом насаживала не ту наживку, потом неправильно подсекала. А кончилось все вообще скверно: я наловила рыбы больше, чем он.

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АнжеллаРазные 2015-08-27

- Что вы будете делать, если увидите зеленого человечка?
60% ответили - брошу пить! allanecdots.ru
30% - начну пить!
9% - пойду на прием к психиатру!
И только одна девушка сказала: «Начну переходить дорогу!».

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АнжеллаРазные 2015-08-27

Решила заняться спортом. Выбрала бег. Добежала до компьютера. Сижу. Бегаю глазами по монитору. Я прямо чувствую: "Спорт - это моё!"

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Vaserman_Druz_Разные 2015-08-26

- Ты разделяешь мое мнение, дорогой?
- Да, дорогая. Я его разделяю и причем на две части. Первую я отвергаю полностью, а со второй я категорически не согласен. allanecdots.ru

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Vaserman_Druz_Разные 2015-08-26

- А я вчера девушку в зоопарк водил!
- Ну и как? allanecdots.ru
- Не взяли!

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Юрий НиколаевичРазные 2015-08-25

Только в России жопа - не часть тела, а событие! А полная жопа - это вообще комплекс мероприятий!

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