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Юрий Николаевич
2016-01-15
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- Дорогой, как ты считаешь, я красивая?
- Да. allanecdots.ru
- Вот просто да, и все?
- Да, ты красивая.
- Да, ты красивая? Как кобыла сивая! Так, что ли?
- Нет, ты не кобыла!
- Спасибо, дорогой! А ты не козел! Спокойной ночи!
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- Димочка, а кто такие ВИП персоны?
- Олечка, таки я думаю шо это те, кто любит поВИПендриваться. allanecdots.ru
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- Вы можете описать преступника?
- Да, конечно: высокого роста, лысина, борода, усы... allanecdots.ru
- Мужчина или женщина?
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- У вас 14 детей! Это - семейная традиция?
- Нет, традиция у нас другая, а дети - побочный эффект этой традиции... allanecdots.ru
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Судья укоряет бродягу:
- Почему вы такой бессердечный!? Эта старушка дала вам сдобную
булочку, а вы ей камнем разбили окно! allanecdots.ru
- Ваша честь, это был не камень...
- А что же?
- Та самая булка!
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- Скажите, Гоша дома?
- Он на даче. allanecdots.ru
- Как, у вас есть дача?
- Нет, он на даче показаний в прокуратуре.
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- Девушка, это вы сережку в парке потеряли?
- Я! allanecdots.ru
- Так бегите быстрей обратно...бьют его там.
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- А я вчера на пляже вообще обалдела! Подходит ко мне парень, протягивает деньги. Ну, деньги я взяла, а парень мне не понравился, кому он такой нужен - без денег...
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Хозяин бьет свою лошадь, а та поворачивается и говорит:
- Хозяин почему ты меня бьёшь? allanecdots.ru
А хозяин, от удивления:
- Впервые вижу говорящую лошадь!
И собака рядом:
- Я тоже...
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В магазине:
- Девушка, покажите мне, пожалуйста, соковыжималку. allanecdots.ru
- Извините, я как-то не сильна в пантомиме...
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