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Танкист
2016-06-07Встречаются два бомжа:
- Ты где живешь? allanecdots.ru
- Нигде.
- О!.. Значит мы соседи!
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Беседуют два строителя:
- Скажи, что случилось? Почему мастер тебя уволил? allanecdots.ru
- Понимаешь, мастер - это человек, который ходит и наблюдает за работой других.
- Ну это всем известно, но почему же он все-таки тебя уволил?
- Из зависти. Многие думали, что мастер - это я.
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- О, какая интересная кружка. Из необожженной глины?
- Нет, это обычная мужская офисная кружка из прозрачного стекла. allanecdots.ru
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Девочка Катя купила собачку и начала её дрессировать.
А что ей оставалось делать после того, как родители нашли у неё под подушкой ошейник и плёточку? allanecdots.ru
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-Вы напоминаете мне океан...
-Я вас так же волную? allanecdots.ru
-Hет, меня от вас так же тошнит.
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Ученые на днях обнаружили мощную магнитную аномалию, сравнимую по силе с Курской. Оказалось, что это холодильник с магнитиками в квартире Фёдора Конюхова.
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- Вы вообще не следите за тем, чтобы животным вашего зоопарка не было холодно.
- А вы собственно кто? allanecdots.ru
- Конь в пальто.
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- Помнишь, ты ходил в магазин за картошкой?
- Да. И что, она вся испортилась? allanecdots.ru
- Нет, она вся свекла. Сходи ещё.
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У актёров театра Юрия Куклачева самое большое число нарушений трудовой дисциплины приходится на март.
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Для того, чтобы утром поспать на полчаса подольше, достаточно накануне вечером принять душ, умыться и побриться, приготовить завтрак и лечь спать одетым.
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К фразе "я потом не хочу получать от начальника..." никто не переспрашивает "а что получать?", потому что эта фраза воспринимается без иных вариантов.
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