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ReadyOnOff
2017-09-28- Дайте мне самый дорогой букет!
- Любовнице берете? allanecdots.ru
- Жене.
- Но любовница, я так понимаю, в этой истории все же фигурирует?
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Заплатил за кофе. Ушел. Вспомнил, что не взял сдачу. Вернулся, забрал сдачу, ушел. Вернулся в офис, понял, что кофе не взял. Вернулся за кофе.Бариста: Я вам покрепче сделал.
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- Что за бестактность! Я говорю, что жена ждёт ребенка, а вы спрашиваете от кого?!
- А, ну извините, я думал, Вы знаете! allanecdots.ru
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Похоже, это была неудачная идея - прийти на собеседование в футболке с надписью "От работы кони дохнут!"
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На ипподроме: "Женщинам из русских селений вход запрещён."
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Смеялся, когда прочитал, что обезьяны всегда выбирают предмет, отличающийся от других. Резко замолк, когда вспомнил, что так же в магазине покупал куртку.
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Звонит одна пиявка другой и спрашивает:
- Я тебя не от чего не отрываю? allanecdots.ru
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Проводник пассажиру:
- Простите, ваш билет до Воронежа, а этот поезд идет совсем в другую сторону. allanecdots.ru
- И часто ваши машинисты так ошибаются?
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- Сегодня моя девушка сказала мне "Доброе утро", а я ответил "Угу"... У кого сегодня можно переночевать?
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- А меня в детстве сажали на хлеб и воду.
- Голодал, небось? allanecdots.ru
- Да нет. Просто мокро и попа в крошках.
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- Наш шеф собирается уходить.
- Откуда ты знаешь? allanecdots.ru
- А он вызвал меня вчера и говорит: "Что-то мы с вами не сработались, Петрова."
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