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Маша
2018-12-10- Милая, ты будешь ждать меня из армии?
- Конечно, ведь ты мне семь штук должен! allanecdots.ru
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Молодая семейная пара собирается в ночной клуб:
- Вова, а куда делось мое платье? allanecdots.ru
- Таня, ты в нем не пойдешь!
- А ну-ка разожми кулак...
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Нельзя разрешать женщинам рожать после 40. Потому что 40 детей - это чересчур для кого угодно!
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Нужно безжалостно отрывать башку всякому, кто порочит высокое звание гуманиста!
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Меня в детстве и сейчас всегда пугала фраза: "Когда грибы пойдут...".
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Девчонки, если много жрать, то можно заметить, что вся ваша красота, как бы уходит в жопу.
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Рецепт для лысых: Намазать голову мёдом, подождать три дня, затем сильно хлопнуть в ладоши - мухи улетят, а лапки останутся.
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- Маш, а твой-то чем занимается?
- Да в полиции он. allanecdots.ru
- И что, нравится ему там?
- Не знаю. Его только час назад забрали.
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Хорошая новость: ваш клип посмотрели два миллиона человек. Плохая новость: они зашли туда по ссылке "посмотрите на эту дуру".
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- Сколько друзей у меня было, сколько родственников... В гости друг к другу ходили, общались. Всё, никого нет, всех забрала она, проклятая.
- Водка? allanecdots.ru
- Дача!
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При проверке документов на Измайловском рынке, паспорта оказались только у щенков английского кокер-спаниеля.
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