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Milashka
2019-03-07- Девушка, хватит продолжать отмечать Хэллоуин, праздник давно закончился.
- А я его никогда не отмечаю. allanecdots.ru
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- Откройте дверь, это полиция!
- Нет, вы будете меня ругать! allanecdots.ru
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Если у вас начали расти рога, не спешите обвинять жену. Возможно, вы просто козёл.
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В камере:
- Как в тюрьму попал? allanecdots.ru
- За взятку.
- Что за времена?! Даже в тюрьму - через взятки!
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- Алло! Да, я продаю полное собрание сочинений Донцовой. Есть в твердом и мягком переплёте. Что? В рулонах? В рулонах пока нет...
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Зима, сильный мороз. Воробушек летел, замёрз, упал, помирает. Идёт корова. Шлёп на него навозом. Пар валит от навоза. Воробушек согрелся, а вылезти не может. Клюв высунул и зачирикал. Кошка бежала, услышала воробья, вытащила и сожрала. Морали:
1. Не всякий враг кто тебя обосрал! allanecdots.ru
2. Не всякий друг кто тебя из говна вытащил!
3. Если уж обосрали, не чирикай!
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- Ватсон, вы гей?
- Да, Холмс. А как вы догадались? Опять наверное метод дедукции? allanecdots.ru
- Да нет, просто спросил.
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По данным Росстата, на вызов по телефону быстрее всего приезжает доставка пиццы, затем - пр@ститутки, а уж потом - милиция и "Скорая помощь" с пожарными. МЧС рекомендует, в случае внештатной ситуации, сначала заказать пиццу и пр@ституток, чтобы вместе бороться с угрозой до приезда уполномоченных служб.
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