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petrosyan
2019-05-05Мужик бежит вдогонку за отходящим поездом, проводница смотрит на него и кричит:
- Мужчина, вы что, на поезд опоздали? allanecdots.ru
- Нет, блин, я его с вокзала прогоняю!
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Звонок в турагентство.
- Вы билеты в Египет продаете? allanecdots.ru
- Да, конечно продаем.
- Скажите, а какие курорты там есть?
- Шарм-эль-Шейх, Хургада, Таба, Нувейба...
- Во, стоп, Нувейба, точно Нувейба подходит мне!
- Когда вы собираетесь поехать?
- А нет, мы тут кроссворд разгадываем, спасибо вам, Нувейба подходит.
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- А вот я уже давно мусор раздельно выкидываю. Что не проходит в унитаз, выбрасываю в форточку. А что не проходит в форточку - с балкона.
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В Молдавии разработан совершенно новый тип бомбы. При взрыве в радиусе 30 км всё покрывается кафельной плиткой...
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В обувном магазине продавец говорит покупателю:
- Только первую неделю в этих туфлях будет немного тесновато. allanecdots.ru
- Тогда я начну носить их через неделю...
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Если в руках у женщины - скалка, еще не факт, что будут пирожки!
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- Извините, я опоздал.
- Что случилось? allanecdots.ru
- Да ничего, я просто не хотел приходить.
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- Пойдем пожрем?
- Сейчас 2 часа ночи! allanecdots.ru
- Я у тебя время, что ли, спросила?
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- Хотелось бы сыграть Илью Ильича Обломова.
- Почему? allanecdots.ru
- Как "почему"? Все первое действие можно играть, не вставая с дивана...
- Ясно... А я бы хотел сыграть Герасима...
- А это еще почему?
- Чтобы текст не учить...
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- Ясно... А я бы хотел сыграть Герасима... - А это еще почему? - Чтобы текст не учить..." data-url="https://allanecdots.ru/85060/" data-title="Разные" data-image="https://allanecdots.ru/smajlik.jpg" data-services="whatsapp,vkontakte,collections,facebook,odnoklassniki,moimir,gplus,twitter,lj,viber,telegram" data-limit="3"> |
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- Я тут поссорилась с мужем... И бросила ему в борщ таблетку виагры... Ох, как он бегал за мной, как извинялся!..
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Женщинам любят романтических мужчин, пока не понадобится мужская помощь. А он стоит такой - слезинка в глазах, ручки из жопы...
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