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Георгий
2019-06-10Сегодня в лицее просто роковая встреча - случайно задеваю девушку в коридоре, она роняет учебники. Мы оба начинаем подбирать их и наши взгляды встречаются.
Я говорю: "Прямо, как в кино! ". allanecdots.ru
Отвечает: "Да, только в кино он - красавчик".
| Отвечает: "Да, только в кино он - красавчик"." data-url="https://allanecdots.ru/85404/" data-title="Разные" data-image="https://allanecdots.ru/smajlik.jpg" data-services="whatsapp,vkontakte,collections,facebook,odnoklassniki,moimir,gplus,twitter,lj,viber,telegram" data-limit="3"> | Комментировать |
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До последней странички пролистал Камасутру и прослезился. Они так и не поженились...
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Мужик поднимается по лестнице в квартиру и встречает соседку. Та ему:
- Привет, Вань. Ты что такой смурной? allanecdots.ru
- Да... сын перестал со мной общаться.
- Ну вот! А ты говорил, никогда не поумнеет.
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- Моя совесть настолько чиста и прозрачна, что ее практически не видно.
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- Вчера весь вечер звонил, звонил тебе, почему трубку не берешь?!
- Так у меня же определитель номера! allanecdots.ru
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Лайфхак.
Никогда не пейте кофе на работе по утрам. А то до обеда не уснёте... allanecdots.ru
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Если вы пару раз дадите человеку взаймы, то он уже постоянно будет учитывать вас при планировании своих доходов.
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– Иванов, где отчет? Ты обещал его сдать после обеда!
– А я ещё не обедал! allanecdots.ru
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– А как ты балуешь своего мужика?
– Ну… иногда я молчу allanecdots.ru
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Человек открывает глаза в кресле парикмахера и ощупывает налысо подстриженную голову.
– Что вы сделали? allanecdots.ru
– Ой! Извини, брат, замечтался, у тебя был такой кучерявый голова, а я в Узбекистане овец стриг…
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- Как тебя зовут?
- Лиза. allanecdots.ru
- А полное имя?
- Лазерная Интерферометровая Зондерсистема Антенн по анализу гравитационных волн.
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