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Просто смешные анекдоты
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Георгий
2019-10-21
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- Мамочка, дай мне рубль.
- Тебе какой - металлический или бумажный? allanecdots.ru
- Заверни мне металлический в бумажный, чтобы я его не потерял...
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Рекрутер: Почему вы уволились с последней работы?
Кандидат: Компания переехала. allanecdots.ru
Рекрутер: Куда?
Кандидат: Они мне не сказали.
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Поехали мы как-то к родителям мужа. А у мужа есть пятилетний брат (случайно так получилось). Короче, эти два кренделя бесятся, мы стоим со свекровью, наблюдаем и тут она выдает:
- Ну что, будем их спать укладывать, или пусть еще поиграют? allanecdots.ru
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Бывает, смотришь в глаза собаки и думаешь:
- Ну как человек! allanecdots.ru
А иногда смотришь в глаза человека и думаешь:
- Вот ведь сука!
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Лучший способ заправить одеяло в пододеяльник - положить их вместе в
стиральную машинку. allanecdots.ru
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Дамы и господа! Предлагаю почтить утро понедельника минутой ворчания...
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Некоторые боятся вещей из секонд-хенда, потому что вещи хранят энергетику предыдущего владельца. Я не боюсь, ведь если предыдущий владелец смог себе позволить отдать новую вещь в идеальном состоянии, то дела у него, как, впрочем, и у его энергетики, точно идут лучше моих.
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Оцените уровень своей физической подготовки по шкале от "одышка при моргании" до "помогите встать, меня придавило пылью".
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Когда женщину в 20 лет хотят познакомить с мужчиной, она спрашивает: "Каков он?". В 30 лет, она спрашивает: "Кто он?". В 40 лет - "Где он?".
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Я человек интеллигентный, поэтому не могу сказать гостю: "Заткнитесь уже!", вместо этого я говорю: "Почему вы ничего не кушаете?"
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