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Георгий
2020-02-21Поправка в Конституцию:
1. Россияне - не бездельники и могут достойно жить. allanecdots.ru
2. Понедельники взять и отменить.
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- Моя подавилась печенькой. А всё потому, что ела после шести.
- Ела бы до шести, подавилась бы котлетой. allanecdots.ru
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- Сынок, когда ты вырастешь, ты кем хочешь стать?
- Тобой, папа. allanecdots.ru
- Молодец, только маме не говори.
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- Ты красивая. Переезжай ко мне.
- Блин. Я так в Икее с чашками разговариваю. allanecdots.ru
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- Дед, ты сегодня вечером дома или, может, уйдёшь куда-нибудь?
- А что? allanecdots.ru
- Да ко мне сегодня девушка придёт в гости.
- Внучек, а у неё нет симпатичной подруги лет шестидесяти-семидесяти?
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Эротично есть банан может любая дура. А вот ты попробуй томно и призывно скушать холодец!
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– Так ты что, все же мужа бросила?
– А что мне оставалось делать? Ты помнишь, когда я с ним познакомилась, он мне говорил, что он в постели, как королевский орел? Но я же не орнитолог, откуда я знала, что эта чёртова птичка занимается любовью раз в три года! allanecdots.ru
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Экскурсовод обращается к гостям:
– Если уважаемые дамы замолчат, мы услышим шум двигателей первого в мире сверхзвукового пассажирского самолета Ту-144. allanecdots.ru
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- Вот когда мы с сестрой обе выйдем замуж, кем друг другу будут приходиться наши мужья?
- Братьями. По несчастью. allanecdots.ru
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Он:
- Когда я впервые увидел ее, понял, что она та самая единственная! allanecdots.ru
Она:
- Когда я впервые увидела его, я подумала "Че за долбоклюй!", а потом как-то закрутилось завертелось...
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- Нам надо расстаться.
- Ладно! Береги свои коленки! allanecdots.ru
- Зачем?
- Приползешь еще.
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