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Георгий
2020-03-02– Дед, а почему ты называешь бабушку Женщина кошка? Потому что она всё ещё красива и грациозна?
– Нет. Потому что у неё сuськи на животе. allanecdots.ru
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– А вас жизнь била?
– Била, но не превышая пределов необходимой обороны. allanecdots.ru
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– Знаешь, сегодня прям магическое воскресенье, Прощёное воскресение, день святого Валентина и конец Масленицы! Круто да?
– Прости меня, я люблю тебя, но тебя придётся сжечь, чтобы наступила весна! allanecdots.ru
– Сам ты чучело!
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Ведро воды по калорийности равно одному яйцу. Утренняя яичница из трех ведер воды обеспечит вам активность в течение всего рабочего дня.
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- Вот найду себе парня, готового на все, ему и отдамся.
- Я ради тебя на все готов. allanecdots.ru
- Нет, ну ты это другое...
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У русского языка, если присмотреться, слегка матовое покрытие.
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- Когда утром девушки говорят, что хотят меня познакомить с родителями, я теряюсь.
- Теряешься что ответить? allanecdots.ru
- Нет, теряюсь от них навсегда.
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Четверть населения незалежной выступила против того, чтобы образование велось на русском языке. Получается, что произведения великого украинского писателя Гоголя будут читать не в оригинале, а в переводе.
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- Ну, подумайте сами, как я могу ходить с 18 до 20 часов в тренажерный зал сбрасывать вес, если в это время у меня ужин?!
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Объявление: "Пропала маленькая испуганная девочка. К нашедшему просьба: отнимите у нее зеркало!".
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Диалог в магазине. Покупательница:
- Скажите, пожалуйста, есть у вас однотонные пакеты? allanecdots.ru
Продавщица:
- Нет и не было. Есть только на 50, 70 и 80 килограммов.
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