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2020-03-12Объявление на двери кабинета окулиста - "У кого открылся третий глаз обращайтесь к психиатру".
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Дедушка Мороз! Когда я писал тебе, что хочу стать всемирно известным, я не имел ввиду международный розыск!
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- Привет!
- Да. allanecdots.ru
- Надо говорить: "Привет", а не: "Да". Ты дома?
- Привет.
| - Привет." data-url="https://allanecdots.ru/89118/" data-title="Разные" data-image="https://allanecdots.ru/smajlik.jpg" data-services="whatsapp,vkontakte,collections,facebook,odnoklassniki,moimir,gplus,twitter,lj,viber,telegram" data-limit="3"> | Комментировать |
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- Вот говорят: зло порождает зло. Что это значит?
- Ну вот, к примеру, у моей тещи родилась моя жена… allanecdots.ru
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Объявление в туалете одной компании:
Друг! Помой руки! Тебя убьет не вирус, а то, что в инфекционном отделении нет Wi-Fi. allanecdots.ru
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Семья - это союз мужчины и женщины! По конституции! Теперь тещи в нашей семье не будет по закону.
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В моем возрасте торопиться - опасно, нервничать - вредно, доверять - сложно, а бояться - поздно. Остается только жить, причем в полное свое удовольствие.
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Мужик все время опаздывает на работу. Наконец, начальник разозлился и пригрозил его уволить. Говорит:
- Сходите к врачу, примите какие-нибудь таблетки, только больше не просыпайте. allanecdots.ru
Мужик так и сделал. Просыпается, приходит на работу ровно в 9.00, и сразу к начальнику.
- Спасибо за Ваш совет. Видите, я сегодня вовремя пришел на работу.
- Ну сегодня ладно, а где Вы были вчера?
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- Хочу, как раньше...
- Чтобы мы снова были вместе? allanecdots.ru
- Нет, чтобы я о тебе даже и не знал...
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- Папочка! Можно я тебя поцелую?!
- Денег нет! Меня уже мама поцеловала. allanecdots.ru
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- Господа, что мы всё карты да карты. Может хотя бы театр посетить? Там сегодня дают "Три сестры".
Поручик Ржевский: allanecdots.ru
- Гениально, господа! Нас как раз трое!
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Поручик Ржевский: - Гениально, господа! Нас как раз трое!" data-url="https://allanecdots.ru/89091/" data-title="Разные" data-image="https://allanecdots.ru/smajlik.jpg" data-services="whatsapp,vkontakte,collections,facebook,odnoklassniki,moimir,gplus,twitter,lj,viber,telegram" data-limit="3"> |
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