Просто смешные анекдоты

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Разные 2020-03-25

Новый русский звонит на мобильник корешу и хвастается:
– Прикинь, Вован, вчера по пьяни на водных лыжах катался! allanecdots.ru
– Ну и что?
– Да у берега еще нормально, а дальше – хуже, блин. Палки до дна не достают!

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ГеоргийРазные 2020-03-23

Не всё так просто, как кажется на первый взгляд.
Попробуйте вытереть попу другой рукой. allanecdots.ru

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ГеоргийРазные 2020-03-23

На счёт "три" звоним бывшим, и хором посылаем их!
- Вот это хороший тамада! И конкурсы интересные! allanecdots.ru

- Вот это хороший тамада! И конкурсы интересные!" data-url="https://allanecdots.ru/89291/" data-title="Разные" data-image="https://allanecdots.ru/smajlik.jpg" data-services="whatsapp,vkontakte,collections,facebook,odnoklassniki,moimir,gplus,twitter,lj,viber,telegram" data-limit="3">

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ГеоргийРазные 2020-03-23

В 2020 все научились правильно мыть руки.
Тема следующей пандемии - поворотники. allanecdots.ru

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ГеоргийРазные 2020-03-23

Сегодня поехал за продуктами, реально все полки пустые, молока нет, крупы нет, даже туалетную бумагу разобрали.
В итоге устроил скандал с менеджером, он вызвал охрану и меня вывели на улицу и сказали, чтобы я в мебельный больше не приходил! allanecdots.ru

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ГеоргийРазные 2020-03-23

Виталий Кличко рассказывает своему помощнику:
– Представляешь, заявились ко мне городские метеорологи поставили ультиматум: или я поднимаю им зарплату – или они прогнозируют в городе резкое похолодание. Шантажисты чёртовы. allanecdots.ru
– И как вы поступили?
– Ну, ясное дело – поднял им зарплату. Зачем мне резкое похолодание?

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MilashkaРазные 2020-03-23

- Вчера подстриглась коротко. Муж заметил, но ничего не сказал. Сегодня подслушала, как он общается с нашим псом: "Ты же знал, что она собирается сделать. Почему ты отпустил ее? Почему не отгрыз ей ногу?".

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PaulMcCartneyРазные 2020-03-23

Когда хорошему человеку плохо - это блюз.
Когда плохому человеку хорошо - это попса. allanecdots.ru

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MilashkaРазные 2020-03-23

- У тебя точно никого нет, кроме меня?
- Нет, только ты и жена. allanecdots.ru

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Король БрунеяРазные 2020-03-22

Что легче: один килограмм гречки или один килограмм туалетной бумаги?

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Король БрунеяРазные 2020-03-22

Ванга: "Пустая Европа, безжизненная", "... только одно останется нетронутым - слава Владимира, слава России!".
Не расстраивай бабушку Вангу, проголосуй 22 апреля правильно! allanecdots.ru

Не расстраивай бабушку Вангу, проголосуй 22 апреля правильно!" data-url="https://allanecdots.ru/89265/" data-title="Разные" data-image="https://allanecdots.ru/smajlik.jpg" data-services="whatsapp,vkontakte,collections,facebook,odnoklassniki,moimir,gplus,twitter,lj,viber,telegram" data-limit="3">

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