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Георгий
2020-05-25- Я называю вещи своими именами!
- О-о! Ты уже с вещами разговариваешь. allanecdots.ru
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Ребята, что вы знаете о любви, если вы никогда по ночам, пока ваша девушка спит, не растягивали её одежду, чтобы она думала, что похудела.
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- Дорогая, хочу купить себе удочку.
- Но у тебя 28 удочек, 8 спиннингов, 3 лодки, 3 ящика воблеров и других приманок! allanecdots.ru
- Их ребята и рыба уже видели.
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Если человек, больной коронавирусом, надует шарик и лопнет его в толпе - это будет считаться терактом?
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Хорошо, что все наконец-то стали воспринимать окружающих адекватно - как источник заразы.
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Согласно народной примете, в новый дом первым нужно впускать интренет-кабель.
Куда его проведут - там ставить кровать, стол, комп и жрачку. allanecdots.ru
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Глупая ситуация.
Нашел объявление о продаже топора. allanecdots.ru
И теперь я должен позвонить незнакомому человеку и договориться о встрече.
На которую я приду с деньгами, а он с топором.
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- Кто на свете всех милее, всех румяней и белее?
- Ты прекрасна, спору нет! Положи свой пистолет! allanecdots.ru
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Негр просит джинна:
- Сделай меня белым, чтобы вокруг было много воды и женщин. allanecdots.ru
И сделал его джинн унитазом в женском туалете. Промучился бедолага месяц и опять джинна зовет:
- Все! Опять хочу быть черным!
- Хорошо - сказал джинн, и отключил воду.
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В антикварной лавке:
- Сколько стоит этот горшок? allanecdots.ru
- Это не горшок, это ваза!
- Мне виднее, как я его буду использовать..
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Пока парикмахерские закрыты, приходится как-то выкручиваться. Я мужа подстригла, он меня покрасил. Зашибись получилось!!! Второй день друг с другом не разговариваем.
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