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Георгий
2020-06-17Кабинет хирурга:
- Что вас беспокоит? allanecdots.ru
- Доктор! Меня девушка бросила!
- Вам нужен психотерапевт.
- Вы не поняли! Я пролетел четыре метра и ударился головой об стенку…
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- Мои сильные стороны - настойчивость, граничащая с агрессивностью, умение контролировать ситуацию…
- Погодите, я же ещё не спрашивал вас об этом. allanecdots.ru
- Заткнись и слушай дальше.
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Со стены сорвались часы и упали мне на голову. Потому что время не щадит никого...
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Анжела читает сборник любовной лирики. Вдруг она с удивлением говорит
мужу: allanecdots.ru
- Дорогой, ты знаешь, что какой-то Петрарка украл у тебя
стихотворение, которое ты мне посвятил двадцать лет назад?
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- Больная, вам срочно надо похудеть.
- Доктор, но у меня такая конституция. allanecdots.ru
- Конституция у нас одна, просто вы жрете много.
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Если вы посмотрели на меня и вам что-то не понравилось, значит вы просто увидели своё отражение в моих очках.
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Жена - мужу:
- Хватит уже ковыряться пальцами в ушах, когда я с тобой разговариваю! allanecdots.ru
- Я и не ковыряюсь, я затыкаю их, чтобы визга не слышать...
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Подруга – подруге:
– Была у врача, оказалось – беременна. allanecdots.ru
– Придумала ребенку имя?
– Да я еще отчество обдумываю...
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Похоже, что Китай наконец изобрел то, что может работать больше трех месяцев.
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- Фигня полная этот масочный режим! Меня сегодня без проблем без маски обслужили!
- Это где такая халява? allanecdots.ru
- Да я на паспорт фотографировался!
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- Как твоя новая собака?
- Хорошо. Уже команду "место" наполовину разучили. allanecdots.ru
- Наполовину - это как?
- Я уже свое место знаю, а она пока нет.
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- Наполовину - это как? - Я уже свое место знаю, а она пока нет." data-url="https://allanecdots.ru/90725/" data-title="Разные" data-image="https://allanecdots.ru/smajlik.jpg" data-services="whatsapp,vkontakte,collections,facebook,odnoklassniki,moimir,gplus,twitter,lj,viber,telegram" data-limit="3"> |
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