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Георгий
2020-10-05- Дорогая, говорил тебе, что ты прекрасно готовишь?
- Ни разу, милый. allanecdots.ru
- Тогда почему ты опять готовишь?
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- Смотрела вчера "Голос. Дети". Ах, какой там Нагиев! Жаль только, в перерывах поют долго.
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- Да вы двух слов связать не можете!
- Говорите чепухи не! allanecdots.ru
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Жена мужу утром:
- А мне сегодня приснилось, что я всю ночь каталась на велосипеде. allanecdots.ru
- А мне, что всю ночь занимался любовью.
- Со мной?
- Нет, ты куда-то уехала на велосипеде.
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- Это ты вчера в магазин за картошкой ходил?
- Да. И что, она вся порченная? allanecdots.ru
- Нет, она вся - свекла.
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- Меня никто не любит.
- Я люблю тебя. allanecdots.ru
- Неужели так трудно помолчать и послушать?
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- Когда я вижу попа, внутренний голос подсказывает, что в складках рясы у него наверняка есть крестовая отвёртка.
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Пастор встречается с раввином и говорит:
- Мне сегодня приснился странный сон. Будто попал я в еврейский рай. И там такая грязь, вонь и толкотня! allanecdots.ru
- А мне, - говорит раввин, - снилось, будто попал я в христианский рай. И там так чисто, светло, сплошное благоухание - и ни души!
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- Прикинь, захожу на страничку к девушке, смотрю фотки, и, представляешь, с каждой фоткой она всё красивее и красивее!
- Это фотки всё более и более старые. allanecdots.ru
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- Говорят, у Королёва была традиция: он всегда перед запуском мочился на ракету. Может вернуться к этой традиции и тогда всё будет опять хорошо?
- Помочиться - не проблема, но вот где взять Королёва? allanecdots.ru
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- Мам, познакомься! Это Леша.
- Ты ж собаку хотела!.. allanecdots.ru
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