Случайный прикол:
Просто смешные анекдоты
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2022-08-26Свитер, который колется, начал по ночам выносить из дома ценные вещи.
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- Составляю график отпусков, тебе месяц на какую букву?
- На "И". allanecdots.ru
- Ладно, в Инваре пойдёшь.
| - Ладно, в Инваре пойдёшь." data-url="https://allanecdots.ru/104540/" data-title="Разные" data-image="https://allanecdots.ru/smajlik.jpg" data-services="whatsapp,vkontakte,collections,facebook,odnoklassniki,moimir,gplus,twitter,lj,viber,telegram" data-limit="3"> | Комментировать |
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Историк- Почему некоторые люди пишут семерку с горизонтальной черточкой посередине, хотя на печатных машинках и компьютерах используется обычная семерка, без черточки?
- Когда Моисей сошел с горы Синай, стал читать своему народу десять заповедей и дошел до седьмой заповеди "Не прелюбодействуй" народ хором стал голосить: allanecdots.ru
"Зачеркни семерку, зачеркни!"
| "Зачеркни семерку, зачеркни!"" data-url="https://allanecdots.ru/104532/" data-title="Разные" data-image="https://allanecdots.ru/smajlik.jpg" data-services="whatsapp,vkontakte,collections,facebook,odnoklassniki,moimir,gplus,twitter,lj,viber,telegram" data-limit="3"> | Комментировать |
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- Бабуль, а что это у тебя за татуировка какая-о странная?
- Да, заночевал у меня как-то парень один, а я ему "Наколи мне дров"... allanecdots.ru
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Парень - девушке:
- Ты самая красивая была на своём Дне рождения! allanecdots.ru
- Спасибо! Я старалась!
- Специально гостей подбирала?..
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- Ты такая милая, когда спишь.
- Откуда ты знаешь? allanecdots.ru
- У тебя было открыто окно, я проходил мимо и случайно увидел.
- Но я же живу на шестом этаже!
- Было непросто...
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Лайфхак для девушек:
Селфи в лифте нужно делать во время начала его движения вниз, так как грудь в этот момент поднимается. allanecdots.ru
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- Чего ты хочешь больше всего?
- Быть счастливой. allanecdots.ru
- Новые туфли?
- Да.
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В аэропорту женщина возмущается задержкой рейса:
- Да я бы давно добралась до места назначения, просто вставив себе перо в задницу! allanecdots.ru
Служащий за стойкой, слегка улыбнувшись:
- Мадам, сейчас как раз взлетная полоса совершенно свободна.
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- Чего-то ты плохо выглядишь.
- Да вот, купил недавно таблетки от желания курить. allanecdots.ru
- Ну и как, желание пропало?
- Как рукой сняло! Курю теперь без всякого желания.
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Собеседование при приеме на работу:
Сотрудница HR-отдела: вы планируете в ближайшие пять лет уйти в декретный отпуск? allanecdots.ru
Я: а вы?
Сотрудница: я считаю, это неуместный вопрос!
Я: полностью с вами согласна!
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