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AlikРазные 2020-11-05

- Привет, что делаешь?
- Да вот, магазин открыл... allanecdots.ru
- В карантин?! Как тебе это удалось?
- Да так, вот этим ломиком.

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МилашкаРазные 2020-11-05

- Ты чего такая грустная?
- Потому что люблю тебя. allanecdots.ru
- Ну и что же тут грустного? Ты любишь меня, я люблю тебя. Я счастлив!
- Ты-то, конечно, счастлив, я же - лапочка. А ты - чмо.

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ГеоргийРазные 2020-11-04

– А вы воруете из бюджета?
– Да, а что? allanecdots.ru
– А если узнают?
– Вот вы узнали. И что?

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ГеоргийРазные 2020-11-04

- Вчера в нашу квартиру забрался вор.
- Взял что-то? allanecdots.ru
- Да какое там! Лежит в больнице. Жена подумала, что это я вернулся так поздно.

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ГеоргийРазные 2020-11-04

В роддоме подвыпивший мужчина рвётся в палату к роженице.
- Пустите меня, я хочу увидеть своего сына! allanecdots.ru
Персонал его уговаривает:
- Папаша, после выписки дома насмотритесь.
Мужчина сквозь слёзы:
- Нет, домой меня её муж не пустит!

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ГеоргийРазные 2020-11-04

- Знаешь, я вчера в клубе караоке пела. Так один мужик подошел и дал мне 500 рублей, И сказать что бы я заткнулась.
- А ведь на этом можно зарабатывать! allanecdots.ru

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ШутникРазные 2020-11-04

Муж в гневе:
- Так! Я всё знаю! allanecdots.ru
Жена:
- Да? А сколько будет 276 в квадрате?

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ШутникРазные 2020-11-04

Китайские военные, проникшие на самолет-разведчик США, были приятно удивлены, обнаружив, что вся секретная аппаратура, находящаяся на его борту, была сделана в Китае.

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ШутникРазные 2020-11-04

- Волнуетесь?
- Да. allanecdots.ru
- Первый раз?
- Нет, я уже волновался и раньше...

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ШутникРазные 2020-11-04

90% мужчин, узнав об измене жены, собирают вещи и уходят к любовнице.

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ШутникРазные 2020-11-04

Чтобы приготовить колдовское зелье, просто возьмите любой консервированный паштет. Там в составе как раз все, что нужно - шкура кабана, когти совы, мышиный порошок.

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