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2022-11-25Социологи установили, что подняв с ковра нитку, которую не смог всосать пылесос, 85% мужчин бросают ее обратно, чтобы дать пылесосу еще один шанс.
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- Ты что мне обещал? Щас помою посуду. А часы уже сколько показывают?
- Без десяти щас! allanecdots.ru
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Жена спрятала любовника в шкаф. Тот просидел полночи в шкафу, не выдержал, надел шубу и стал тихонько выползать из шкафа. Тут муж проснулся:
- Ты кто? allanecdots.ru
- Я? Моль...
- А куда шубу понес?
- Дома съем!
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- Бабушка, ты сама пришла?
- Сама, внучек, сама. allanecdots.ru
- А папа сказал, что тебя черти принесли.
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- Куда ты в зайца целишься!? Я зайца готовить не умею. Стреляй лучше в картошку!
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В дом к грузину забрались воры. Попали в подвал. А там бочонки с вином. Выпили.
- Давай еще немного выпьем, и тихо-тихо попоем. allanecdots.ru
Попели.
- Давай еще немного выпьем, и тихо-тихо потанцуем.
Потанцевали.
- Давай еще немного выпьем и тихо-тихо постреляем.
Постреляли. Входит хозяин:
– Вах! Вах! Вах! В доме гости, а я сплю.
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Сказка - это когда выходишь замуж за чудовище, а он оказывается принцем, а быль - это когда наоборот.
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Нашёл очень хорошую японскую пословицу: Никто не спотыкается, лёжа в постели. Задумался...
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Девушка первый раз в гостях у парня.
- Петя, а куда ты вешаешь вещи? allanecdots.ru
- Мы, мужики, обычно вешаем свои вещи на пол.
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- Можно ли быть пид@ром, но временно?
- Можно. Представьте, что вы в 12:00 должны кому-то срочно привезти крупную сумму денег. Вы привезли деньги в 12:30. Вот эти 30 минут вы и были пид@ром. allanecdots.ru
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Жена попросила подарить большую сковороду. Я теперь буду больше есть или лучше себя вести?
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