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Добрый
2020-12-29Самолет из Африки садится в Шереметьево. На борту мужик. В багаже груз - 100 банановых пальм. Таможенники, получив информацию об этом, находятся в предвкушении хорошего развода мужика на бабло: как-никак 100 пальм это ж коммерческая партия и для "личного использования" никак не катит...
Таможенник: allanecdots.ru
- Ну-с, уважаемый, что везем?
Мужик молча протягивает декларацию, в которой написано:
"Пальмовая роща - 1 шт."
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Таможенник: - Ну-с, уважаемый, что везем? Мужик молча протягивает декларацию, в которой написано: "Пальмовая роща - 1 шт."" data-url="https://allanecdots.ru/95621/" data-title="Разные" data-image="https://allanecdots.ru/smajlik.jpg" data-services="whatsapp,vkontakte,collections,facebook,odnoklassniki,moimir,gplus,twitter,lj,viber,telegram" data-limit="3"> |
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- Привет!
- Привет! allanecdots.ru
- Как дела?
- Нормально.
- Чё делаешь?
- Подвожу статистику.
- Чё за статистика?
- Да вот, считаю, кто и сколько раз за день сказал мне тупые фразы "привет", "как дела", "че делаешь" и "ясно".
- Ааа, ясно.
| - Ааа, ясно." data-url="https://allanecdots.ru/95613/" data-title="Разные" data-image="https://allanecdots.ru/smajlik.jpg" data-services="whatsapp,vkontakte,collections,facebook,odnoklassniki,moimir,gplus,twitter,lj,viber,telegram" data-limit="3"> | Комментировать |
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Просмотрел весь учебник по матричному исчислению, но так и не нашел таких операций над матрицами, как Революция и Перезагрузка.
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Как показала практика - для начала неплохо было бы ознакомиться с теорией.
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- Алло!! Я вчера купил у вас сверхмощный пылесос!!
- Вас плохо слышно! allanecdots.ru
- Ясен пень, плохо! Я звоню из мешка для пыли!!!
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Муж утром спрашивает у жены:
- Надеюсь, дорогая, ты не подумала ничего плохого, когда я ввалился ночью пьяным и с синяком под глазом? allanecdots.ru
- Нет, не подумала. Но когда ты ввалился, синяка еще не было.
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Из двух возможных вариантов я умудряюсь выбрать тот, который третий - невозможный, да и не вариант вообще.
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Инопланетяне:
- Чему так люди радуются? allanecdots.ru
- Земля сделала оборот вокруг Солнца.
- Я же говорил, что они неразумные.
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Корпоратив удался - это когда трудовую книжку тебе привезли сразу домой.
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